Title: Last Breath Author: Katie Schramm Rating: PG Genre: MulderAngst with M&S relationship at the end Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Mulder and the X-Files aren't mine. They belong to Chris Carter and 10 13 Productions. Summary: Scully is once again back in the hospital because of her cancer. Mulder tortures the hell out of himself as usual. Dedication: I dedicate my FIRST fanfic to my bestest friend Lauren, because without her help, I'd still be staring at a blinking cursor. A special prayer to Loretta who is dying of cancer. Feedback: I would love to hear your opinion, i need all of the help i can get!!! Write to me at KeLLy214@aol.com ************************************************************************ "Where is she?!" Fox Mulder demanded as he threw open the door of the hospital, realizing he had taken these same steps before. Down the corridor he was greeted by Assistant Director Skinner who wiped the sweat off his brow as he walked beside Mulder. "Her room is right down here," Skinner replied, pointing to left as the two turned the corner into another empty hall. "Room L1013." Outside of her room, Skinner stopped short and placed his hands firmly on Mulder's shoulders. "Mulder, before you go in there, I have to tell you something," he paused. "It's bad." With these words, Mulder shrugged Skinner's hands off of his shoulders and watched Skinner turn and walk into the dark hospital room. Mulder wasn't ready to go in yet. He stood alone in the unlit hall and placed his forehead and hands against the cool wall. He tried to mentally prepare himself for the emotional trauma he would endure in the next few minutes, hours, days, months, years. Who knew how much time he'd have. All he knew was that he would have to do everything he could to be there for her and her family. After Mulder settled himself a little, he took a deep breath and stepped into the room. Mulder stopped dead in his tracks. His jaw locked and a tear rolled down his cheek. He bit his lower lip. It was the only thing he could do to stop from crying. He wasn't prepared for this. She looked awful. Every tube, wire and machine imaginable was hooked up to her. The faint beeping from one device harmonized with the throbbing of his head. He closed his eyes, hoping to awaken in his bed, but it made no difference. He knew this wasn't a dream. His attention focused to the chair in the corner of the room where her mother was sitting, crying. He felt helpless. He wanted to walk over and tell her not to worry- that her daughter would be well again. He wanted to stand beside her bed and cure her of her cancer and rid her of her pain. But he couldn't. He couldn't heal her and he couldn't assure her distraught mother that she would be okay. Mulder never felt so alone. "The doctors say she had a relapse," Mrs. Scully began. "They say… its serious," she said between sobs. "And they don't know if she is going to make it." Mrs. Scully broke down in tears. Skinner walked over to her chair and tried his best to comfort the weeping woman. He gave Mulder a look- a look that he had seen many times before when Skinner was deemed powerless. "Mulder, there is nothing you can do for her tonight. Why don't you go home and try to get some rest," Skinner said, still consoling Mrs. Scully. "I don't expect to see you in work for the rest of the week." Mulder nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. He hesitantly walked over to Scully's bedside and reached down to grab her lifeless hand. He held it in his for a minute, before bending down and kissing her pale cheek. "I love you" his whispered in her ear, even though he knew she was in a place too far away to hear his words. He turned to leave the room When Mrs. Scully called out to him. "Mulder?" He spun around and looked at her with his big puppy dog eyes. "Pray for her?" she said faintly. Mulder shook his head. "I-I will" he managed to choke out. He exited the room and walked down the dark hallway alone. ************************************************************************ Mulder ran his fingers threw his wet hair as he stepped out of the rain and into his apartment building. He turned the key and opened the door of his apartment. He threw his jacket and keys onto the table beside his door and he plopped himself onto his couch. It was late now and he could barely think straight. Mrs. Scully's word echoed in his head. "Pray for her, Mulder. Pray for her pray for her prayforherprayforher… "God," Mulder shouted, silencing the voices in his head. "She doesn't deserve this. If anyone deserves her pain its me." he finished He lay his head down on the cool leather sofa. "She doesn't deserve to die," he mumbled. He shut his eyes and drifted off into an unconscious sleep. He didn't wake until many hours later, when he saw Scully's face. "Scully!" he exclaimed, jumping off of the couch. He couldn't believe she was here. Wasn't she just connected to machines in the hospital? And now here she was, standing right before him. He eyed her up and down. She was wearing her hospital gown. He rumpled auburn hair was pushed back and she looked very pale, as pale as she was when he stood over her in her hospital room. he thought. It didn't matter, she was here and all he wanted was to hold her. He walked over to her to embrace her, but she pushed him back down onto the couch. "Cut the crap Mulder," she said firmly. "That's not why I'm here." A puzzled look came over his face. "I came to say goodbye. I'm leaving." "Leaving?" "Yes, I'm leaving," she snapped. "I'm surprised I stayed this long. Look at you. You're one sorry son of a bitch Mulder. Chasing after little green men your whole damn life and what do you have to show for it? Absolutely nothing. No baby sister, no family, no friends, no life. And now no partner. All you have is you're work, and that's slowly withering. The truth is, Mulder I blame you. I blame you for my abduction, I blame you for my failure, I blame you for my sister, I blame you for my cancer. And I think that I can safely say that your family agrees with me. You have done nothing for them but bring them misfortune. It's your fault you're sister is gone, its your fault you're father died, its your fault your parents were separated." Mulder couldn't believe his ears. "You don't love me," she broke in. "You never loved me. You used me. You needed someone who would fall for your strange ideas and spooky theories. But I'm tired Mulder, and if I don't get out now, I'm afraid I never will." With that, Scully looked at him sadly with her bright blue eyes and faded away. Tears streamed down Murder's face. "Sculleeeeeee!" he shrieked. But it was no use; she was gone. He stared at the place where she stood and thought. She was right about one thing. It was all his fault. Everything was. And now, he was all alone. He might as well give up. Scully was his only friend in the world and now she was gone, because of him. He had given her cancer and made her ill. He drove her away. He pictured her before she was sick. he thought. But she was wrong, he did love her, with all of his heart. If only she knew. He lay back down on the couch and cried. ************************************************************************ He awoke once again to the face of - Skinner? What was Skinner doing here? And what time was it, what day was it? He looked at the clock on the wall- 5:23. He had slept through the night. he thought. It must have been real early. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Mulder? Are you okay?" Skinner asked with concern. "Yeah, I must have been sleeping." Mulder replied as he stretched his arms over his head. "Well, I just wanted to drop by and tell you the news about Scully." he said. Mulder thought. "She's going to be okay, Mulder." He smiled. "She's gone into remission. She's a fighter, Agent Mulder. We're lucky to have her." Mulder looked at him, puzzled and then he realized what had happened. It was a dream. Scully hadn't left. She didn't tell him all of those things, and he had a second chance to tell her how much she meant to him. He grinned. "When is she coming back to work?" he asked eagerly. He wanted to see her as soon as he could. "Well ,the doctors want to run a few more tests to make sure everything is okay, but she will probably be released in the next few days. Why don't you stay home today, and you can finish up your work tomorrow." Skinner said, walking to the door. "Thank you sir," Mulder said "I'll see you tomorrow morning." He closed the door behind him. ************************************************************************ Fox Mulder shuffled through the papers on his desk, looking for a particular paper that he owed to Skinner. The work had really piled up on his desk. It was hard working by himself for the past couple of days. He was so used to being half of a pair. He couldn't wait until Scully was back. Not just because he needed the help, but he felt incomplete without her. "Shit" he muttered under his breath, still searching for the lost papers. He was concentrating so hard on finding what he was looking for, that he didn't even here the footsteps coming down the hall and his office door open. Mulder suddenly stopped what he was doing when he heard the person behind him sigh. "Five days without me Mulder, and you're place is already a pigsty," Scully said, with her hands on her hips. Mulder took a deep breath. "Honestly Mulder, what would you do without me?" she smiled and extended her arms for a hug. Mulder spun around and came face to face with Scully. He smiled and entered her embrace. "God, I missed you," he said, tightening his grip around her, almost as if she would fade away, like in his dream. "Are you okay?" Scully laughed. "I'm fine, Mulder." He wouldn't let go of her, though. He nuzzled his head into her auburn hair and inhaled the sweet smell of her locks. He kissed her neck and whispered into her ear. "I can't imagine my life without you. I love you Scully." She smiled and kissed his forehead. "I know you do," she replied, remembering what he said to her in the hospital. "I love you too, Mulder. I always did." Mulder pulled back and looked at her. He kissed her gently on her lips. He knew that everything would work out, and they would be together.