Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, Skinner and Cancerman are not mine. They belong to Chris Carter and 1013 Productions. Furthermore, Fox owns everybody and everything. I am just borrowing the Characters and picking up where the Leonard Betts story left off and taking them where, IMHO, they should go next. I promise to return them when I'm done - that is if they want to go back . . . . . Oh, I'm not making any money doing this (although I am saving on therapist's bills), so please, Mr. C., don't bother suing me. Category: UST, Mulderangst, Scullyangst, heck even a bit of Skinnerangst, MSR Spoilers: Post Leonard Betts so everything before that is incorporated by reference. Summary: Scully and Mulder deal with the consequences of her cancer. Relationship warning - non-'shippers bail out NOW! Feedback welcomed at eroddv@planet.eon.net Flames will be used to melt the deep piles of snow in my back yard! Sudden Gift of Fate by Rhiannon Part 1/5 January 28, 3:16 a.m. Mulder's phone rang once, twice. His eyes jumped open from the world of half-sleep, half-wake where he spent most nights. He glanced at the clock and knew before picking up the phone who it was. "What's up Scully," he said. "Mul. . . ." Scully shook herself further awake. Awake enough to form words. It had been a reflex to dial Mulder's number. She had not even needed the benefit of speed dial. Her fingers just punched in his number without hesitation. "Can you come over?" "Sure, I'm on my way." Before he had even hung up the phone, Fox Mulder was half dressed and heading out the door of his apartment. Across the City to the apartment of his partner and friend whom he had reluctantly left several hours earlier. He replayed the scene in his mind. "Really Mulder, I'm fine," Scully had insisted, "I just need to get some sleep." She had not looked fine. In fact, he had seen something in her eyes that he had not seen in a long time. Fear. A deeply troubling fear. Of something, of someone. He was not sure what or of who. Maybe the run in with Leonard Betts had upset her more than she would admit. It was not the first time a homicidal manic had held her against her will and attempted to hurt her. And he had not been there this time. Mind you, she had done a fantastic job of fending for herself. Mulder sometimes forgot that his diminutive partner had taken the same self defence training he had and that she knew how to defend herself. At least when she was not drugged. She had, once again, proven that she could take on assailants almost twice her size and come out ahead. Regardless, having her freedom threatened was not the same for Dana Scully as it was for other people. It brought back memories for both of them. Of her disappearance and reappearance. Of Donny Pfaster, the obsessive killer who had almost succeeded in taking Scully from Mulder's life for good. The look on Scully's face had been similar to the look he'd seen when he found her at Pfaster's house. Only this time, the look had persisted. Through the drive back to DC. She had not said much on the drive. She had not really slept. She had just stared out the window into the blackness. Mulder had been worried when he left her apartment earlier. Now he was positively terrified. What was wrong?He took the stairs up to her suite two at a time. He knocked gently at the door. Receiving no response, he opened the door with his key. Scully was curled up on her blue and white striped sofa wrapped in a floral print comforter. Tears were streaming down her face and she looked like she had not slept at all. Mulder crossed the room and knelt in front of her. "What's wrong, Scully," he said reaching out to touch her clenched fists. "What can I do to help?" "Oh, Mulder," she said and the tears started again. "I'm so scared." He sat next to her and pulled her into his embrace. He let her cry. He did not know what had her so frightened. He did know that she had not told him the whole story about what had gone on in the ambulance with Betts before he arrived. He had been curious, but had sensed that she would tell him when she was ready. He could feel her tears on his chest soaking through the sweatshirt he had pulled on as he sped out the door. Scully was so. Sometimes he forgot she had her weaknesses. In a strange way he felt privileged that she had called him. Privileged that she was able to share her tears with him. They sat in silence for many minutes. Scully's breathing slowly returned to normal and she moved away from Mulder's arms and sat back against the couch cushions. Her eyes looked like sapphires. Sapphires with red, swollen rims, but sapphires just the same. "It's about something Betts said to me in the ambulance," she started. Mulder did not say a word, he just let her continue, at her own pace. She paused for a long time. Mulder took her hand in his and looked into her eyes. Green spheres searching the blue ones for answers. "He looked at me and said I had something he needed." There she had said it. "He was going to kill me, Mulder." Slowly Mulder's mind began to realise what Scully was afraid of. Betts had needed cancer to survive. He needed it like the rest of us need oxygen. Scully could read Mulder's face. He understood. She took a breath. "What if I'm sick? What if I have what Betty Hagopian had?" Tears filled her eyes once again. "Scully, you don't know that is what Betts meant." Mulder almost cracked a joke that perhaps the comment had been Betts' attempt at a pick up line. He stopped himself. She was serious. Serious and scared out of her wits. "Tomorrow we'll go see those high priced doctors that the Bureau keeps on retainer and have you checked over," he said. "Whatever there is to find, they'll find it." His voice softened and he took her hand the pressed it to his cheek. "Scully, don't worry. You're the strongest person I know in the world." "But, Mulder. . ." she started. "But, Mulder nothing." He stood up and pulled her to her feet. "You are a wreck and it's time *you* got some sleep." He gently lead her down the hall to her bedroom. "We can't find anything out right now. Tomorrow I'll talk to Skinner and I'm sure he'll pull whatever strings are necessary to get you so tested that you'll never want to see a lab coat again." He watched as she lay down on her bed. "Will you stay with me till I fall asleep," Scully's voice sounded like a little girl. He reached over and pulled the comforter around her. "I'm not going anywhere." He sat down next to her on the bed. His hand reached up and stroked several loose strands of hair from her forehead. She turned away from him and curled up around a pillow. Mulder gently rubbed her back, just letting her know he was there. She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. "Thanks, Mulder." Before long her breathing had become more steady and regular. Mulder could tell she was finally asleep. He slipped out of the room and lay down on her sofa. The enormity of the situation hit him. And the potential implications. Scully. Cancer. What if Betts was right? He could not bear the thought of losing her. They had been through too much together. Lately he had come to expect she would be beside him forever. He was not about to give that image. Whatever it took, he would make sure she was okay. His eyes fluttered shut and he drifted into a dreamless sleep. January 29, 1997 - 7:15 a.m. - Scully's Apartment The sun cut through Scully's livingroom window and fell on Mulder's face. He slowly opened his eyes and took stock of his surroundings. He was at Scully's. Sleeping on her couch. This was not entirely unusual. He had spent many nights on the couch after late night work marathons left him too tired to even attempt to walk to his car, much less drive back to his apartment. A feeling of dread crept through him as he remembered what had brought him to Scully's apartment this time. Betts. Scully's fears. His fears. He got up quietly and moved quietly down the hall to check on his partner. She was still asleep. Wrapped in the comforter he had tucked around her a few hours earlier. Her face was stained with dry tears. He bent down next to her and kissed her gently on the cheek. He turned and slipped out of the bedroom and down the hall. He would have to move quickly to get everything set up before she woke up. January 29 - 8:00 a.m. - Walter Skinner's Office Walter Skinner looked up from the pile of paperwork that cluttered his usually clean desk. He could hear voices in the hallway. "I don't care *what* he's doing, Angela, I need to see him right NOW." It was Mulder and something obviously had him in even more of a mood than he usually carried. Skinner picked up his phone and pressed his assistant's number. "Send him in," he said. "You know he'll just stand out there fuming until I see him." Skinner looked up and saw the door open. The young agent who had so often caused him a sleepless night bounded in the door. Something was definitely wrong. Mulder was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. He did not look as if he had showered and he most certainly had not been near a razor that morning. Furthermore, his partner and balancing force, Dana Scully, was no where in sight. "What's wrong, Mulder?" Skinner asked. "And, where is Agent Scully." "Agent Scully is what's wrong," Mulder began. The words just poured out. About the incident with Betts. The women from MUFON with cancer. Scully's panicked phone call. When he finished he looked at his boss and concluded. "So, Sir, what are you going to do about this?" Skinner sat back in his chair and pondered the situation. On one level the things that Fox Mulder had just told him sounded incredible. On another level, they sounded just too likely. Right now the only thing that matter was that Agent Scully was obviously traumatised. He knew the only thing that would calm that trauma would be scientific proof that she was okay. It was sometimes difficult having doctors around. They wanted proof of everything. "What do you think I'm going to do, Mulder." Skinner reached for the telephone. "I'm calling Northeast Georgetown and making the necessary arrangements to have Agent Scully tested for all forms of cancer. And for anything else you two can think of on your way over there. You just get back over to her place and try to keep her calm until we can get this process underway." Mulder stood up. "I'll call you once the arrangements are made." "Thank you, Sir," Mulder said as he flew out the door. thought Skinner, He picked up his telephone and dialed a number. At the other end of the line a raspy voice answered. "You black-lunged son-of-a-bitch, you better call your friends and tell them that there is about to be a meeting of the Navajo nation and *they* are going to be the central topic of conversation. In fact, what they have to say may just make Navajo a very popular language course." "Mr. Skinner, this is a surprise," the nameless man spoke in a controlled manner, lighting another cigarette as he spoke. "What are you talking about?" "Remember my warning. It would appear that my best female agent may be ill. If she is, it undoubtedly has something to do with whatever your cadre of Mengele's did to her." Skinner stopped and took a deep breath. His blood pressure was rising into the danger zone. "All I can say, is you better have some answers for me next time we talk or there is going to be a press release of **monumental proportions**." January 29 - 11:30 a.m. - Scully's apartment Mulder used his key to get in once again. Scully was still sleeping. He had to admit that he was both relieved and worried. He slipped down the hallway just as his cel phone beeped to life. "Mulder," he said. "Yes, Sir, I will." A muffled voice came from the direction of Scully's bedroom. "Who was that?" He walked in and sat down on the bed. "It was Skinner. It's all set up. You are going to get up, shower and go directly to Northeast Georgetown for a complete head-to-toe testing session. No breakfast, I'm afraid. Or should I say lunch, given how long you've been sleeping." "How long *have* I been sleeping," Scully sat up against the headboard padded with pillows. She glanced over to the clock radio. "My god, Mulder, why did you let me sleep in." Suddenly Scully was back to the controlled professional he knew . "Relax, G-Woman. You'd been through a lot and I thought a few extra hours sleep would do you good." Mulder grinned actually happy that his partner was acting annoyed with him. He stood up and crossed to the doorway of her bedroom. "You don't want to get probed and prodded by handsome doctors without your beauty sleep, do you?" Scully threw a pillow from the bed the length of room and caught Mulder in the solar plexis. She looked at the clock again and then back at Mulder. "How much *did* you tell Skinner?" "Enough," Mulder said. "He already knew most of it from the field reports. I just connected the dots." He had carried the projectile pillow back to the bed and sat down again. He reached for her hand. "For what it's worth, he looked pretty concerned. In fact, I think he may have leapfrogged you to the top of the testing lists." "Well, I should probably be mad at you," Scully pulled back the covers and started to stand up. "But, I really need to know and I trust you to look out for me. Especially when I'm not doing a good job of it myself." She stopped next to where Mulder sat on the end of her bed, grinned and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. "And, Mulder, cool the pacing. You are as jumpy as a junebug. "Now, out of here, so I can shower and make myself presentable for the good doctors at Georgetown. As you pointed out, they might be handsome." "Sure you don't want me to scrub your back, Scully," Mulder teased as he stood up. Scully rolled her eyes and stood up from the bed. Some people know what to expect/ Need to keep control, need to keep one step/ Ahead of every chance, as if chance decides/ Who it's gonna pass, who it will reward/ They don't understand, chances don't keep score/ They just find us when we're there to find. *Mary Chapin Carpenter* used without permission Disclaimer/summary/spoiler alert - See part 1. Author's note for Part 2: I admit I know very little about MRI's, so if I'm wrong, please bear with me. "Sudden Gift of Fate" by Rhiannon Part 2 January 28, 2:00 p.m. - Northeast Georgetown Hospital "I told you, I'm not going to parade around the halls in this," Scully motioned at the backless, pale blue hospital gown she was wearing. "Not without a housecoat. Now send a nice little orderly to find one, or, better yet, go look for one yourself." Mulder stood in the doorway of his partner's hospital room suppressing a large grin. She still had her spirit and was definitely not going to let hospital procedure rob her of her dignity. The nurse, who appeared to be no more than about 18, slunk backward out of the room obviously off in search of a robe. Mulder walked into the room. "Gee, and I thought *I* gave hospital staff a hard time," he said. "Haven't you heard, Mulder, doctors make the worst patients." Scully was suddenly struck by the humour of the situation and gave in to a smile. "Usually because *we* know what the rules are supposed to be, so we get really irritated when they are not being followed." "Drunk with knowledge and power," Mulder was now perched on the side of the bed where Scully was sitting cross-legged under the blankets. "Seriously, they wanted me to walk down to 2-West for more tests wearing nothing but this . . . this . . . fashion understatement." Scully motioned at the hospital issue gown she was wearing. "It is a good colour on you," Mulder commented. "But it doesn't have a *back*." "And," Mulder said with a leering grin, "the problem with that would be. . . ." Scully rolled her eyes. Just then the little nurse returned with a modest navy blue robe. "Mulder," Scully said uncrossing her legs and moving to stand, "turn around so I can put this on." Reluctantly Mulder turned to face the door. Scully slipped onto the cold tile floor and slipped her arms into the robe's sleeves. "Okay, you can turn around." Mulder turned back to face his partner. He was, in an instance, struck by how small she truly was. So tiny she appeared likely to blow away in a breeze. He was struck by a desire to reach out, take her in his arms and protect her from everything. That was not a new feeling but it had been getting more frequent. It took all his self-resolve not to act on the feeling. Scully would shoot him. Again. And this time, she might not aim as well. "Walk with me, Mulder," she said taking his arm and leading him out into the hallway. This woman was a world away from the one who had clung to him less than 12 hours ago crying. Her control was back. Scully squeezed his arm and slipped her hand down and into his. Well, most of her control, anyway. "So where exactly are we headed." Mulder followed as Scully lead him down several hallways. "More tests," Scully said. Mulder pondered whether he should ask how things were going. Did she want to talk about what she had been going through. Or would she slam up that wall that went up around anything that scared her. Scully stopped suddenly and pulled him into what appeared to be supply closet. "So, go ahead ask," she looked at him, her eyes burning a hole in his jacket. "Ask what." "After almost five years, I can read you like a book - well, almost like a book." Scully leaned back against one of the shelves in the storage area, her eyes moved from his jacket lapels to his face. "You want to know if they've found anything yet. And what tests I am headed off for now." She looked up into his eyes. They were grey pools of worry. "Am I right?" "Gee," Mulder smiled, "you are good." "The answers are no and I'm heading up for an MRI. I convinced them I didn't need an escort." A slight grin crossed her face. "And, since I've spent so much time in this place sitting with my frequently injured partner, for some reason most of the staff figure I can be trusted to find my way around." "Nice to know that my hospital stays have not been in vain," Mulder joked back. Scully walked back out into the corridor. "We better get going. That is if you want to come with me for this one. I've already approved it with the neurologist. You can watch the test if you want." Mulder looked into Scully's eyes. He could see she was scared of this test. To be honest, so was he. He did not fully understand the mechanism of the Magnetic Resonance Imaging machine but he did know it gave a pretty clear picture of what was going on inside the body. That was why they were there - to see if there was a time bomb ticking in Scully's body. A time bomb that could end her life. He swallowed back the tears that were rising in his throat. "Sure, Scully, I'm there for you." They walked the rest of the way to the MRI lab in silence. Scully's hand clasped around Mulder's like a lifeline. Dr. Graydon met them at the entrance to the lab. "Agent Scully, we were just getting set up for your tests." He nodded a silent acknowledgement to Mulder and ushered Scully into the room that held the MRI machine. Mulder joined the technician at the bank of monitors that were separated from the MRI by a Plexiglas window. His mind remembered another room similar to this in another hospital. The Modell case. A silent question to himself was pushed to the back of his mind. He couldn't worry about his feelings or fears, he needed to be there for Scully right now. For his partner, the woman who had stood by him for so longer - when everyone else had given up on him. Scully was laying on a table and Dr. Graydon was obviously explaining procedure to her. After what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Graydon joined Mulder and the technician who was checking the controls on the machine. "You are Agent Scully's partner," Dr. Graydon stated. It was not a question but a statement of fact. "Fox Mulder," Mulder replied. "I'd like to say nice to meet you, but not under these circumstances." "Agent Scully was very clear that you are to be apprised of her condition and any test results directly." Dr. Graydon nodded at the technician who began turning dials and pressing buttons on the large console. " Today we are scanning her brain only. The whole process will take about 25 minutes and she has to stay perfectly skill while the scan in process." Dr. Graydon turned to Mulder. "Would you like to go in and hold her hand and talk to her to help keep her calm? The imager doesn't send off any dangerous rays or anything." Mulder almost told the good doctor that it wouldn't matter if the damn machine caused him to grow two heads and turn purple. If Scully needed to stay motionless and calm for 25 minutes, he would do what he could. Instead he just moved through the door to the other side of the glass partition. "Hi Scully," he said moving a chair next to the examining table. "Dr. Graydon put me in charge of keeping you calm. He clearly doesn't know me well." Scully chuckled, "No jokes, Mulder. This is going to be enough of test for me as it is. Just hang onto my hand and remind me you're there occasionally, Okay?" Mulder took his partner's hand and enfolded it in both of his. "I'm here for you," he said, "and I'm not going anywhere." Her normally warm hands were cold to his touch. Her body was tense with stress and the narrow examining table in front of the MRI machine was not helping her relax. Mulder had almost forgotten where they were when a disembodied voice announced that the test would be commencing in 30 seconds. He squeezed Scully's hand and whispered, "It's going to be all right. Just imagine you are laying on a beach under a big umbrella watching the ocean. You can see the waves play in the wind. Seagulls are soaring over the water and every few moments you can see a dolphin break the water. Sailboats dot the horizon and move on the waves. You are at peace and relaxed. . . ." Mulder continued talking in soothing, gentle tones for the rest of the test. Drawing word pictures of relaxing and calming scenes. Scully's mind focused entirely on her partner's words. T! he images generated kept her mind off the sound of the humming machine that seemed to be circling her head. She had been told by people that an MRI was like having your head trapped in a jet engine turbine. Mulder's quiet tones floated through the machine's noise reaching her mind. Only in the images in her mind, he was there with her. On the beach. In the mountain meadow surrounded by wildflowers. Watching the clouds on a warm summer day. He was there, beside her, holding her hand as he was doing now. It suddenly occurred to her how much a part of her dreams Mulder had become. Dreams she did not dare to dream often. Dreams that she was now frightened might never come to pass. Suddenly the disembodied voice sounded again. The test was over. The machinery moved away from Scully's small form and she moved to stretch. As she turned to sit up on the table a wave of dizziness struck her. Mulder moved quickly and caught her as she was about to topple off the table. He gathered her up into his arms. "Are you okay?" "I think so. The room just started spinning." Scully had just noticed that her partner had not set her down. She was about to insist he let her stand up when it occurred to her that she was not terribly sure her legs would hold her. The 25 minutes spent in the MRI machine had upset her equilibrium. Suddenly Dr. Graydon was in the room "Agent Scully, I was just going to suggest that you might want to remain laying down for a few minutes. The MRI can disturb a person's balance. But, I see you've already figured that out." He noted as he took in the visual image of the tall, lean man holding the tiny redheaded woman against his chest. These two were just partners? He suspected that their relationship went a bit deeper. "The orderly is getting a wheelchair to get you back to your room. I don't think you'll be quite up to walking." Scully had relaxed and was resting her spinning head on Mulder's shoulder. The orderly sailed into the room with a waiting wheelchair. Mulder looked at the wheelchair and contemplated whether to relinquish the soft form in his arms to the chair. Scully made the decision for him. "Uh, Mulder, could you just carry me back to my room. I don't think I can sit straight and . . . well, I know you would never drop me." She spoke softly into his ear. "Thanks for the wheelchair," Mulder said to the orderly, "but the lady doesn't feel like a ride." He turned to Dr. Graydon. "I'm going to get her back to her room so she can sleep off whatever that machine did to her." And with that Mulder trundled out into the hallway ignoring the stares of the hospital personnel on his way back to Scully's room. By the time they reached Scully's room, she had relaxed to the point where Mulder was not sure whether she was awake or asleep. Gently he set her down on the bed. She lay back against the white pillows and looked up at Mulder. Her eyes were slightly out of focus and a slight grin crossed her lips. "Bet you're really glad I lost weight?" "Actually, you never weighed that much to begin with." Mulder had noticed his partner had dropped a size or two over the past year. He had occasionally glanced into the weightroom at the Bureau's workout facility after his own swim to see her working out. Although he would probably never admit it to her, he had often stopped and stared through the door of the gym and marvelled at how good she looked in tights, her hair pulled back and her skin glowing with perspiration as she pushed her body to do more. Once he had figured out her workout routine, he found himself consciously planning his swimming times so that he passed by the gym on his way to the showers. He told himself over and over again that activity was doing nothing to keep his thoughts of his partner on the purely professional level, but it was almost beyond his control. "So, is the room still doing pirouettes?" Mulder pulled the blankets up around Scully. She suddenly seemed to be shaking. "Yeah. A bit." Scully shook her head as if that would clear away the feeling of being spun on a circus ride. "You know, I've read about MRI's and remember reading about the dizzy feelings. For some reason, I figured that I would be immune." "Maybe it was just your reaction to listening to my stories," Mulder joked. "I sometimes have that effect on people." Scully sat forward on the bed and reached out taking Mulder's hand in hers. Her eyes were suddenly clear and they penetrated Mulder's to his soul. A window opened between them and they saw their future. Or at least what could be their future. An instant and the window closed. Both sat in silence their eyes locked and hands entwined. Scully spoke first. "Thank you," she smiled. "The stories you told. The images you painted. They took me away from the machine. Away from the reality of the tests and why I'm here. My imagination has been working overtime for the past little while - you gave me somewhere to let it run." "Heh, what good is a psyche degree or two if you can't use them to help a friend?" Mulder smiled. Just then a nurse tapped on the door and pushed inside the room with a tray of what passed for food at the hospital and a cup holding several pills. "Dinner time, Ms. Scully." Mulder stood up and allowed the nurse to place the tray on the bedtable. "Are you feeling better. I understand that the MRI caused you a bit of vertigo." "Thank you," Scully lifted the stainless steel dome that covered the plate. She looked up and smiled at the nurse. "The room doesn't seem to be doing a square-dance around me, so I think I'm back to normal." Her attention turned to the pills on the tray. "What are these?" "They are pre-meds for the tests you are having tomorrow." The nurse had been told that Scully was a medical doctor. "I have the drug monographs if you would like to review them." She removed several photocopied sheets from her pocket. "If you have any other questions, just buzz." Mulder picked up one of the sheets and started reading. "Gee, Scully, they have obviously been warned to give you whatever information you ask for even before you ask for it. Your reputation must be getting around." He glanced down the description of the medications. They all seemed legitimate and required. He was still worried someone or something would try to get to Scully while she was in the hospital. Scully read the sheets as she ate. "This food is not half bad, Mulder. They must have a new chef who actually went to cooking school *and* passed." As Scully ate, Mulder switched on the television with the remote control. He flicked through several channels. "What do you feel like watching, Scully?" "Whatever you want. I just don't feel like sleeping yet, although one of those meds I just took was definitely a sedative so I'll probably drift off before long." Scully had pushed the bedtable to the side. "Come sit by me and, please, pick a channel." Mulder had zipped the tv through its channels three times. "Okay, okay," he said as he sat down on the foot of the bed pulling one leg up in front of him and turning to the screen. He flipped through the channels one last time and finally settled on an the adult music video channel. Next to him, Scully slipped one of her feet out from under the covers. Mulder reached over and began to rub it gently and felt her relax at his touch. He smiled. On the screen across the room the video changed and Celine Dion started singing a love song: For all those times you stood by me Fort all the truth that you made me see For all the joy you brought to my life For all the wrong that you made right For every dream you made come true For all the love I found in you I'll be forever thankful baby You're the one who held me up Never let me fall You're the one who saw me through it all You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me. . . Mulder looked back at the bed and his partner. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing softly. He tucked her foot under the blanket and gently got up from the bed. As he watched her sleeping, the music playing behind him, he realised, in that instance, that he loved her more than he had ever imagined. Tears began to fill his eyes as he contemplated the answers that might be revealed in the next days and weeks. It scared him more than anything he had ever confronted. Mulder reached up and turned off the light above the bed. In a single movement he pulled the blankets up around Scully's sleeping body. He brushed a lock of hair off her forehead and touched his lips to her cheek and turned to go. As he was about to turn off the television, the song finished. The words hit him like a warm rain, "I'm everything I am/Because you loved me." He flicked off the television and walked to the door. Scully lay in the peaceful haze of almost sleep. She had felt Mulder kiss her. Admittedly on the cheek, but the warmth of his lips awakened feelings that she had worked to bury. A silent tear slipped down her face. In the quiet darkness, Dana Katherine Scully faced the reality that she had been avoiding for months, or was it years. She was in love with her partner. Her last thought as she slipped deep into sleep was that this was a pretty lousy time to figure that out. "And so this has to be, a sudden gift of fate/ You're nothing less to me than a sudden gift of fate/ It's not as if it comes down to your turn that someone somewhere feels you've earned/ You just learn to wait for a sudden gift of fate." Mary Chapin Carpenter (1996) - borrowed without permission "Because you Loved Me" written by Diane Warren, performed by Celine Dion and borrowed without permission because it just seemed to fit! Rhiannon Disclaimer/Summary/Spoiler alert - Part 1 Category: The angst continues for everyone. UST; MSR non-shippers be warned and stop reading now, PG 13 (I don't think I'm ready to write anything NC 17, just yet). Be warned: this part gets kind of well, romantic and sappy. Don't say I didn't warn you! Comments welcomed at eroddv@planet.eon.net. "Sudden Gift of Fate" by Rhiannon Part 3/5 January 29 - 8:30 a.m. - J.E. Hoover Building Skinner met Mulder at the door of Mulder's basement office. "So?" It was a question that was really at least a dozen questions. "So far they are just doing tests," Mulder said. "She's having more tests this morning and kicked me out of the hospital to come and get the report on Betts finished." So, Mulder had already been by the hospital to see Scully that morning. It did not really surprise Skinner. He knew that Mulder's first loyalty was to his partner. Scully was meticulous when it came to paperwork and Skinner suspected that although the field reports always bore both agents' names, she was the force behind them. Scully did not like loose ends. "Good," Skinner said turning to head back upstairs to his office. "Agent Mulder, I want you to know that I am personally investigating other avenues to explain what may or may not be wrong with Agent Scully. As soon as I get an answer, I will let you know." The tone of Skinner's voice told Mulder that he was working on other angles. Mulder knew exactly what those angles involved - the man who existed only on the edges, clouded in a haze of cigarette smoke. In fact, Mulder smiled when he realised that Skinner had probably threatened to pull in a marker that had been collecting interest for over two years. There was not much that scared Cancerman. However, the threat of exposure, not just of the shadowy figure who had invaded Mulder's life like a fog, but of his group of 'friends' probably terrified him. His friends would turn on him like rabid animals if they realised there was a risk their escapades would end up as the lead story on the 6 o'clock news. As he sat down at his cluttered desk, Mulder was struck by the perversity of situation. It might well be that the only person who could save Scully (if the re truly was something wrong with her) was the man who had tried to have both of them killed more times than he cared to count. He pondered what he would give to keep Scully safe on this earth with him. Lost in thought he almost did not hear the phone ring. "Mulder," he said into the receiver. "Fox, it's Maggie Scully. Where's Dana. I've been calling her apartment since yesterday." Scully's mom. Damn, Mulder knew that Scully did not want to alarm her mother unnecessarily. Margaret Scully had been dealt too many tragedies in the past years. However, he also recognised the tone of Mrs. Scully's voice. She would not be put off. Abandoning his initial reaction to say that Scully had headed out of town on a case, he said simply, "Mrs. Scully, we need to talk. Can I come over to your place?" Without pausing for an answer, he continued, "I'll be there in 25 minutes." Margaret Scully's Home - January 29 - 9:30 a.m. Margaret Scully stared at the now silent telephone. Something was wrong. She could tell. Fox's voice had said more than he wanted her to know. Finding the need to do something while waiting, she moved about her kitchen making coffee and setting out a plate of cookies and fruit. Whatever was wrong also had Fox upset. In many ways she thought of him as a son. She just wished her stubborn daughter would see him that way too. She was pacing back and forth across the kitchen when the doorbell chimed Fox's arrival. She opened the door and looked into the grey-green eyes of the man with whom she shared her daughter. His eyes spoke volumes. Automatically she reached out and pulled him into an embrace. Her mothering instincts were in overdrive. She could tell that wherever her daughter was and whatever was going on in her life, Fox was as deeply affected as Dana. Fox sat down at the table where he had enjoyed many meals and good company. Margaret Scully went out of her way to include him in her life. In many ways he was closer to Dana's mother than to his own. For that reason, what he had to tell her was breaking his heart. Even though nothing had yet been determined in Scully's tests, it was impossible to lie to her mother. He had even called Scully on the drive over. She was not thrilled that he wanted to tell her mother what was going on, but she understood. No one was able to keep anything from Margaret Scully for very long. "I don't really know where to start," Fox stared into his coffee cup. "Well, why don't you tell me where Dana is right now?" "She's at Northeast Georgetown undergoing a series of medical tests." Fox looked up and saw Maggie's eyes fill with fear and then anger. "It's got something to do with what happened to her when they took her, doesn't it, Fox?" "We think so," Fox decided that the only way to tell what was happening was just to tell it. "Last year Scully, uh, Dana, met with a number of other women who had similar abduction experiences. They told her that they all had a form of cancer. To make a long story short, on our last case something happened that made Dana think she may be sick. Skinner pulled enough strings to make a marionette master green with envy and Dana is now going through every possible test available." He stopped to let the impact of what he had said fully hit Maggie. Her eyes met his and she began to shake. And then the tears started. Fox moved around the table and pulled his partner's mother into his arms. It suddenly struck him that Maggie Scully sounded just like Dana when she cried. He tried to think of words to comfort her and came up short. In fact, his own eyes were now filled with tears and he could feel them begin to spill down his face. Maggie drew deep within herself to find the strength that the women of her family always kept in reserve. As she took a deep calming breath she could feel Fox's chest contract. Suddenly, she was comforting him. Just as suddenly, it became apparent to her that he had finally figured out what she had known for years. He was in love, deeply in love, with her youngest daughter. She lead Fox into the livingroom and they sat down on the couch. Fox's face was an open book - he was scared, worried and in love. "Oh, Fox, I'm so sorry," she said. It took Fox a minute to realise that Maggie Scully was now worried about him. "Have you told her?" "Told her what?" Fox was not sure what Dana's mother was thinking. "You're in love with my daughter, Fox William Mulder, and don't you dare try to deny. Not now, not ever." The look on her face was the same one that Scully got on occasion. The one that screamed "if you even think about arguing with me, I won't be responsible for my actions". "You're right," Fox admitted. "And you're the first person, other than myself, that I've admitted that to." "Well, I think there is one other person you should be telling this to." "Mrs. Scully. . . Mom . . . I don't think Scully needs a lovesick puppy underfoot right now. She has enough to think about with the tests they are doing." Fox was not sure who he was really more concerned with protecting - Scully or himself. "Nonsense," Maggie said. "My daughter is going through probably the most frightening experience of her life. If anything she *needs* to hear that you love her. Now more than ever." Just then Fox's cel phone chimed to life. "Mulder," he said. "Yes, I'll be right there." He turned to Maggie, "That was Dr. Graydon. They think they have found something. He wants me there when they talk to Scully." "Well, what are we waiting for," Maggie said standing up and grabbing her purse and jacket with one motion. "Fox," she said softly, "even if it's bad news, the two of you will get through it, as long as you are together." They drove to the hospital in silence. Northeast Georgetown Hospital - 11:30 a.m. The door to Dana Scully's room opened. In walked her partner, closely followed by her mother. She could see the shadow of worry on her mother's face. Along with it there was something else, something Scully could not quite place. The same look was on Mulder's face. It was not worry, it was not fear, it was a sense of something right in the wrongness that filled the space around her. "Hi ya, Mom," she said attempting a weak smile. "I see you managed to pry my whereabouts out of my partner." She turned to Mulder, "Remind me never to tell you where I've hidden Mom's Christmas presents, okay?" She said, hoping that she would get to celebrate another Christmas with these two people. The two people who meant the most to her in the world. "Dana," Scully's mother walked to the side of her daughter's bed and took her hand. Their eyes met, both women smiling through the pain of the moment. "Oh, Mom," Scully breathed. "I was really hoping this would all turn out okay and I wouldn't have had to tell you until it was all over. I should have known better." As much as Scully wanted to protect her mother from grief and sadness, she knew that her mother would have hurt for a long time if she was not there to share in whatever the tests revealed. That was her mother, the rock in a stormy sea for the entire family and many of Scully's friends as well. In high school she had more than one friend who had turned to her and told her they would swap their mother for hers in a heartbeat. Mulder was now on the other side of the bed holding Scully's other hand. Scully looked up into the eyes she had been studying for almost five years. There was something behind them she did not recognise, a gentleness that she had always suspected was there. "Dana," her mother spoke. "I think Fox has something he *needs* to talk to you about. I'll go in the hallway and run interference. Give you two kids some time alone." With that she slipped out of the hospital room. "What was *that* all about, Mulder? Has Skinner found something out? Is something wrong?" She looked at her partner's face and found herself unable to read the messages it carried. "Talk to me, Mulder." "Well, uh, Scully," "Scully, Dana, it's nothing like that. Skinner's still looking into things, but no news yet." He swallowed hard and turned away from the bed. Gathering his courage and hoping that this was not a mistake. Despite Mom Scully's assurances, he was worried that Scully would simply laugh at him. "Spit it out Mulder," Scully knew there was something on her partner's mind. She had never seen him this tongue tied before. "Scully, this isn't easy for me." He paced across the room and looked out the window. The sun had come out and the pavement was beginning to dry after the early morning rain. "It's just. . . It's just. . .," he turned back to his partner's bed, crossed the room and sat down next to her. "I want you to know that what I'm going to say is unconditional. No matter what the doctor tells us, it doesn't matter." "Mulder, you're starting to scare me." "Scully, I suspected for a long time that my feelings for you have changed since that day when you first walked into my office. Over the past months, I've realised that I love you. The thought of losing you again is killing me." "Mul . . ." Scully started to speak. "No, let me finish. If I don't your mother will probably ground me for a decade." He took her hand in his. "I want you to know that I'm going to be here beside you whatever happens. If answers need to be found, we'll find them together." He looked up into her eyes. "That is, if you want me." "Oh, Mulder," Scully's eyes had filled with tears juxtaposed against a big grin. "If *I* want you?" She slipped her hand from his and reached up to touch his cheek. "I love you, too. I don't know when it happened and I didn't realise it until recently, but the feeling has been there for so long. I just did not want to call it what it was." Mulder stopped her words with a kiss. Lips searching for answers to questions that they had not known existed. Pulling her close to him, Mulder drank in the softness and strength that was Dana Scully. He had held her before, but never like this. This time there was no reserve. Nothing and no one else existed and for a moment they were the only beings in the universe. A knock on the door broke the reverie of love first discovered. Maggie Scully opened the door and looked at the sight on the bed. Her daughter was sitting with her head resting on the shoulder of Fox Mulder. Both of them looked happy and strong - like they could take on the universe and win. She smiled. "Excuse me, you two, but there is a very insistent doctor out here." Maggie opened the door. She was followed in by Dr. Graydon. Mulder stood up and took his position next to Scully's bed, his hand wrapped tightly around hers. Whatever the doctor had to say, they would face it together. Dr. Graydon stood next to Mulder and opened Scully's chart. "Well, the test results are in and I can tell from the looks I'm getting from the three of you that attempting to pull punches at this time is not going to get me anywhere." Mulder and Scully's eyes locked for a brief second and the doctor continued. "There appears to be a small mass in the brain." He pulled out an 8 x 10 photograph that had been taken from the MRI series. "As you can see, it is still relatively small and we think that it is operable. But we do not have much time since we do not know how fast it is growing." "Is it malignant?" Scully asked. She knew she should know the answer from looking at the picture, but her years of medical training seemed to have slipped away. "We won't know that until we operate, Agent Scully." Dr. Graydon answered softly. "And we would like to schedule the surgery next week." "Next week. . . " Scully's voice became soft. "Yes," Dr. Graydon answered. "We need to see what we are dealing with as soon as possible. Normally, I would want to wheel you into surgery this afternoon, but next week there is a neurosurgeon coming in from England who specialises in brain tumours. I've already faxed him the data and he is prepared to do the surgery, if you want him to." "Yeah, sure, if you think that's what's best." Scully was answering as best she could. "I don't want you to decide this right now," Dr. Graydon pulled a file folder out from under the chart he was carrying. "This has all the information we have now about the tumour. It also has a copy of Dr. Westerbury's CV. Feel free to check him out." Dr. Graydon turned to Mulder. "Now, Agent Mulder, if you could get your partner out of here. She needs to rest and be looked after for the next little while. Physically the tumour is not a threat right now, but psychologically and emotionally she's going to need a friend." Graydon looked at the pair and could sense something had changed in their relationship. Beneath the shock and fear, there was a quiet strength between these two that he hoped would be strong enough to get them through the ordeal waiting for them. Dr. Graydon turned and left Scully with her family. Maggie was trying to absorb what the doctor had said. Her baby girl had a tumour in her brain. Something that could kill her. Something that could take away everything she was. Maggie had watched her mother's best friend die from a brain tumour many years before. Back when there was little that could be done aside from the most crude surgical interventions. She said a silent prayer. "Sweetheart," she said bending down to kiss her daughter's cheek. "I'm going to let Fox take you home. There's something I need to do right now." "Sure, Mom," Scully answered. "And, Mom, I love you and thanks." Maggie saw her daughter smile through the tears which were tracing silent rivers down her face. Alone in the hospital room, Scully and Mulder stared into each others eyes. Mulder bent down and pulled Scully into his arms. There he held her until both of their tears had stopped. "Let's get you home," he said. And with that, he walked to the small closet where Scully's clothes were and tossed them at her. "You get dressed and I'll go make sure the paperwork is in order to get you out of here." Scully responded by silently beginning to change out of the hospital gown. "I better call Skinner and let him know what is going on." Out in the hallway, Mulder walked to a pay phone and called Skinner. He decided against using the cel phone - he wanted a landline in case Skinner had learned anything that might be useful. Skinner was at his desk when Mulder's call came. His chest constricted when Mulder told him of the diagnosis and the plans for surgery. "Mulder, take as much time as you need to make sure Scully is ready for this surgery." "Thanks, Sir," Mulder said. He had not even had to ask. Not that he had expected Skinner to say no, but he was surprised when Skinner offered him the time to spend with his partner. "Hey, what's a girl gotta do to get a ride?" A familiar voice was calling him from the hallway. Scully was dressed in her jeans and a cotton sweater. Her overnight case in her hand and a weak grin on her face. A nurse was behind her with a wheelchair, trying to persuade her to sit down and ride out of the hospital, like a good little patient. "And I don't mean in a wheelchair." Scully shot a glare at little nurse nancy. "Haven't we had this discussion before, Scully?" Mulder said taking control of the wheelchair from the nurse. "Only it's generally you insisting I sit down and ride out of the hospital. You were right - doctors are the worst patients." He pointed at the chair, "now, get in." Reluctantly Scully sat down in the wheelchair. She did not want to. She knew what a brain tumour - even a small one - could do to a person. There may come a day in the near future when she could not walk or talk or even think. Her thoughts were heading down a road that was dark with shadows. An act of will clamped down her thought process. "Whatever, Mulder," she said as they moved down the hallway. (continued in part 3b) ========January 29 - 3:00 p.m. - Scully's Apartment "Why not, Dana?" Mulder was standing, his arms akimbo staring almost plaintively at his partner and love of his life. "Mulder, it's not that simple. We can't just acknowledge our feelings one day and get married the next. It wouldn't be fair to you if. . . ." her words drifted off into silence. She was sitting curled up on her couch wearing her favourite pyjamas. "You let me worry about what is fair to me. Dana Katherine Scully, don't you understand. Don't you get it. I don't care if we only have a year together or a week or a day - I want the world to know that we love each other. I thought you felt the same." Mulder's eyes were pleading with Scully to listen to reason. He thought it was perfectly reasonable that they call the nearest Justice of the Peace or Priest or Judge -whoever Scully wanted and get married. Make the commitment that had been there for such a long time legal and binding. More than that, he wanted the right to take care of her in the way only a husband was allowed. For a man who'd spent the better part of his life running away from commitment to anything but his search, he was desperate to be committed. Scully's head was spinning. Not only did Mulder love her. He wanted to marry her. In spite of the fact she might be dying. In spite of the fact that it would certainly end their partnership and work on the X-Files. She looked into his eyes and saw only love and desire. "I do feel the same Mulder. I'm just afraid you're jumping into this because of my . . . condition." "You sound like a pregnant sixteen year old, Scully. I do not want to marry you because you have a brain tumour. I do not want to marry you because you are sick. I want to marry you because you are my best friend and the woman I love more than anyone or anything on this planet." Had Scully just heard that right? "But, Mulder. . ." she was suddenly tired. "You heard me, Scully." He could sense she was exhausted. Moving to sit beside her, he pulled her close and said, "It's okay. Please just think about it. Sleep on it. But don't say no." "I'll think about it," she said quietly settling into the arms of the man who had shared her life for so many years. Before long she had drifted off to sleep. Suddenly she was sitting in a large cathedral. Stained glass windows filtered light into the sanctuary making patterns on the walls and pews. She felt a presence behind her and turned to look into the face of her father. "Ahab?" "Yes, Starbuck." He looked as he had the last time she had seen him four years earlier. "You've got a big decision to make, don't you?" "Yes," she stepped closer to her father's figure. "I just don't know what to do. It's all so overwhelming. I might be dying. Mulder loves me. He wants to marry me. But would it be fair. What if the surgery leaves me less than who I am. What if I can't walk or talk or be a proper wife to him? I love him so much. I don't want to set him up so that he feels obligated to look after me." She stared into her father's eyes looking for answers. "But, Starbuck, I've watched you two together. You already look after each other in ways that most married couples could not contemplate," he smiled. "I was wondering what it would take for the two of you to figure just how much you are meant to be together. It would have made me happy for it to be something else, but, you have to deal with the life you are given." Bill Scully reached out and touched the face of his beautiful baby girl. "All I can say is: Do you really think that a marriage certificate is going to make Mulder any more committed to you than he already is? Can't you see it in his eyes. You are not going to get rid of him, no matter what. Besides, if the situation were reversed. . ." "He wouldn't be able to get rid of me with a team of wild horses," Scully finished. "Remember, I love you, baby girl." And with those words, Bill Scully disappeared into the refracted light of the windows. Mulder could tell Scully was dreaming. He'd seen enough of her nightmares to know this was not one of them. He gently pulled her closer to him and wrapped the comforter around them both. His only thought was of getting her to say yes to his marriage proposal. It had all been clear to him from the moment he knew she loved him, too. They would get married. As soon as possible. Before her surgery. He did not care what it did to their work. The stakes were suddenly much higher. Marrying Scully was the only right thing to do. In his mind, they were already married. Bound by the connection stronger than anything on this earth. But, he wanted the world to recognise and that connection. Suddenly Scully stirred beside him. Her eyes flickered and she smiled. "Yes." She said just one word and with that their lives would never be the same. January 30 - 2:30 p.m. - Margaret Scully's Home The doorbell rang and Maggie Scully opened the door. Standing on the doorstep looking somewhat puzzled was Walter Skinner. Mulder called Skinner and asked him to meet them at Mrs. Scully's home at 2:30. Mulder had refused to answer when Skinner asked him why. "Just be there, Sir," Mulder had said. "It's important to Scully." "Mr. Skinner, so nice of you to be able to make it," Maggie ushered him into the livingroom. "I'll admit, Mrs. Scully, I am somewhat at a loss as to why I'm here." Skinner looked around the room. There were orchids on the table and soft music was playing on the stereo. "It's really quite simple, Mr. Skinner." Maggie had offered to drop the bombshell on Skinner. She explained calmly to Fox and Dana that it would probably sound better coming from her. "Fox and Dana are getting married in about 15 minutes and Fox needs someone to stand up for him. Oh, and call me Maggie." Walter Skinner felt his jaw go slack. "What . . .what. . ." he managed to sputter. "Mulder and Scully. Married." "Don't act so surprised, Walter." She smiled that Scully trademark smile. "I cannot believe that you haven't notice that they fell in love a long time ago. It was obvious to me and I don't think I've seen nearly as much of them as you probably have." "Do they realise this will have ramifications on their jobs," Walter Skinner was trying to think of a rational reason why his best two officers should not be getting married and was coming up short. "Yes," Maggie picked up a rosebud and pinned it to the lapel of Skinner's suit jacket. "But, at this point, I don't think it really matters to them." Just then Mulder walked in the front door. A woman wearing a suit was in tow. From a briefcase she produced a book and several pieces of paper. Mulder walked over to Maggie and kissed her on the cheek. "How's my bride coming along?" "She was rearranging her hair for the fifteenth time when Walter got here." Maggie smiled at Skinner. "I was just explaining to Walter why he is here. It didn't come as quite the shock you had thought." "Mulder," Skinner offered his hand to the young man in front of him. "I won't say I'm totally surprised. Even an old military man like me can see love when it walks past him. But, marriage, well. . ." He didn't finish the sentence. He was cut off by the sound of a familiar voice. "Mom, come help me." Dana called from the upstairs bedroom that she had slept in as a child. "I'll leave you two men to talk. I have a daughter to rescue." Maggie gave Mulder's arm a gentle squeeze as she walked passed him to the staircase. "Sir, I know that this is not going to be good for our work partnership." Mulder began. "But, right now, I need Dana to know that I'm there for her in every way. She is my life right now. Getting married may not make sense to you, but to us. Well, it's really just legally recognising a bond that has been between us for a long time." Skinner did a doubletake. "You and Agent Scully?" "No, sir." Mulder smiled. "I know what you're thinking. We have so much as kissed until the past 48 hours. But the bond we have. Well, I don't really think I can explain it." "You don't have to, Mulder." Skinner smiled. "I've seen it between you." The Justice of the Peace cleared her throat. "Uh, Mr. Mulder I need some information for the marriage certificate." Mulder turned away from Walter Skinner. "Sure," he said as he walked to the table where the paperwork was spread out. Several minutes later Maggie Scully appeared at the top of the stairs. "I guess we're ready to go." The Justice of the Peace took control. "Places everyone." Mulder looked at the staircase and almost lost his ability to stand. Scully was standing at the top of the stairs. She was wearing an ivory satin tea length dress that her mother and she had picked up that morning. Her hair was swept up on her head and peach rosebuds were woven through it. Her eyes glowed with a blue fire that held the promise of love and devotion - no matter what happened in their lives. Before he could catch his breath, she was at his side. He reached for her hand and the Justice of the Peace began the ceremony. The vows were not traditional, but then again their courtship and relationship was anything but traditional. Fox William Mulder looked into the eyes of his bride and recited the vows: Dana Katherine Scully, I acknowledge my love and respect for you and invite you to share my life as I hope to share yours. I promise always to recognise you as an equal individual, and always to be conscious of your development as well as my own. I shall seek through kindness and understanding to achieve with you the life we have envisioned. For the past five years you have been my partner in the search for the truth and for answers. Now, I promise to be your partner in life for the rest of our lives. In token of my love and devotion, I place this ring on your finger. Fox removed the simple gold band from his baby finger and slipped it onto the finger of his partner. Her eyes were full of tears. Tears of joy and excitement. Dana took a deep breath and spoke the vows to her partner and best friend. She amazed herself by getting through the words without crying. It was bittersweet. To be marrying the man of her dreams knowing that their joy might be taken away from them far too soon. They signed the papers and with a hug and kiss to Maggie, they were off. To begin their life as husband and wife. Fox had wanted to sweep Dana off to a romantic inn in the middle of nowhere. But she had insisted that they start their marriage where they had spent so much of their relationship, at her apartment. Or more accurately, their apartment. "Mulder, put me down." He had picked her up as she reached for door keys. "Scully, it's tradition." A grin spread across his face. "We managed to miss out on most of the traditions, indulge me." "I plan to do just that," Scully's voice was suddenly soft and filled with passion. Mulder unlocked the door and pushed it open with his shoulder. He carried through the livingroom depositing her on the bed where they would make love for the first time. Share the one act of intimacy that was new ground in their partnership. Mulder sat down next to her and reached up taking a rosebud from her hair. A gasp escaped her throat. Eyes met and no words were necessary. Scully's hands moved to the buttons of Mulder's shirt. He reached to the back of her dress and slipped the zipper down. Standing up Scully let the dress fall to the ground. It was like travelling an old, familiar road but seeing the scenery for the first time. "Scully, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." Mulder pulled his wife into his arms. With a mix of softness and passion they spent the night exploring each other bodies. Instinctively knowing each others rhythms. Touching and being touched. When they were both exhausted, they fell asleep in each others arms. "And so this has to be, a sudden gift of fate/ You're nothing less to me than a sudden gift of fate/ It's not as if it comes down to your turn that someone somewhere feels you've earned/ You just learn to wait for a sudden gift of fate You can celebrate, gifts are never late/ You just learn to wait for a sudden gifts of fate." Mary Chapin Carpenter - borrowed without permission. End of Part 3 (I warned you it was warm and fuzzy. Part 4 will require tissue warnings! ========Things are changing at NetForward! http://www.netforward.com/changes.shtml ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer/Summary/Spoiler alert - In Part 1 Category: Mulderangst, Scullyangst, MSR (heck they're married, so just adjust); Tissue warning (I even cried writing this.) Comment welcome at eroddv@planet.eon.net Sudden Gift of Fate - 4/5 "Tis not love's going hurts my days, but that it went in little ways." Edna St. Vincent Millay Mulder Residence - July 10, 1997 Fox Mulder raced up the stairs to the apartment. His mother-in-law's phone call had sounded urgent. Something was wrong. He opened the door to find his wife laying on the sofa. She was pale and her breathing did not sound good. Damn it. The doctors had assured them that the last round of radiation therapy had eradicated the last of the tumours. But from the look on his mother-in-law's face, he knew the cancer was back. His mind waded through the pain of the past seven months. It had taken the fear of losing Dana to make him realise how much he needed her in his life. To admit to her that he was in love with her and had been for a long time. Now, it seemed that the time he always had believed they would have was just not meant to be. Maggie pulled Fox into the kitchen. "She just fell asleep." "I take it that Dr. Graydon phoned." Fox cursed the doctor. He was supposed to call Fox first. Then he remembered his cel had been turned off all morning. He had been following a contact through close quarters and did not want to draw attention to himself. "Yes," Maggie lead her son-in-law to the table and sat him down. There was no easy way to say what she had to say. "The tumours are back. And there are more of them than ever before." She looked into Fox's eyes. They were filled with tears. Tears he had held back for months. Always hoping beyond hope that this time the surgery and radiation would work. "Fox, Dr. Graydon doesn't think there is anything left to do." Maggie felt her own throat close. "He says it is only a matter of weeks." Mulder's eyes blurred into a black rage. Rage against the injustice of it all. Rage against the people who had, in all likelihood, done this to Dana. His Dana. She had gone through such pain. It was simple things at first. Like having her beautiful red hair shaved off for the first surgery. He had bought her a collection of colourful scarves. It had helped, but only a bit. Then learning that the radiation they had used to try to kill the rest of the tumour would also kill any chance Dana would have to bear a child. That had hurt both of them. They had both imagined little Mulder's and Scully's running around someday. Now, someday was never. Mulder's heart tore into a million pieces. Suddenly a soft voice called out from the livingroom. "Mulder, is that you?" Fox wiped his eyes and looked a question at his mother-in-law. "Yes, Fox, she knows," was all Maggie could say. Walking into the livingroom was the longest distance he had ever travelled. Fox bent down next to his wife and smiled his best smile. She reached up and brushed a stray tear of his cheek. Dana knew that Fox's heart was breaking. So was hers. But her job was the easy one. He would be the one left with all the memories. All the guilt. No matter how much he tried to deny it, she knew that he felt responsible for her illness. His fault because he had pulled her into the X-Files. His fault because it might be connected to something that happened to her when she was abducted. In her own mind, Scully did not believe the cancer was related to her abduction. It was not like the cancer Betty Hogopian and the other MUFON women had. It was just a regular brain cancer that was slowly robbing her of her life. Mulder reached down and lifted Dana into his arms. He gently carried her down the hallway to the bedroom. To the bed where they had consummated their love and the bed where Dana had said she was determined to die. If that was what fate held for her. She had made him promise not to take her back to the hospital. She had lived through the living death of the hospital before. That was something she would never do again. No words were said between the two people curled up on the soft blankets. No words were necessary. Mulder just held Scully, wishing he could trade places with her. She held him with just as much passion, wishing she could take away the pain he was feeling. The pain of loss. It was ironic that it was the pain of loss that had bound them together in the first place. As they lost loved ones, they had shared their pain and their souls. An hour later, Mulder looked down and saw that Scully had drifted off to sleep. He slipped quietly out their bed and went to the livingroom. He had to make a phone call. Picking up the telephone he hit one of the speed dial buttons. A gruff voice answered. "Skinner, it's Mulder." Walter Skinner could read Mulder's voice. This was the phone call he had never wanted to get. "I take it that it's bad news." "Yes, Sir." Mulder slipped his voice into professional mode. "The tumours are back. It doesn't look like anything else can be done." He paused. At the other end of the phone Mulder heard an almost inaudible "Oh, god." "Sir," Mulder continued. "I am requesting a leave of absence until . . . until . . . further notice." What could he say, until my wife dies, sir. He still could not speak those words. "Yes, Mulder. Take all the time you need." Skinner took a deep breath. "And tell Scully . . . I mean Dana . . . that we're all thinking of her." "I will sir." Mulder hung up the phone and just stared at it. And they he sobbed. Somewhere in Washington, DC -- July 11, 1997 A man got out of a taxi. He smiled at the driver and gave him a large tip. Looking around the somewhat familiar streets, he prayed he was not too late. Jeremiah Smith had been in Brazil attempting to heal the rain forest when he had gotten the call from one of the Brotherhood. A friend of the cause was hurting. A friend who had risked his life to save one of the Brothers was in danger of losing something very precious. It had been decided that someone needed to act. There were risks involved. Getting this close to the seat of evil was full of risk. But there was more at stake than simply his existence. A debt was owed. One that needed to be repaid. He had never been in Washington. Others of the Brotherhood had provided the necessary information to find the friend who had aided their Brother the year before. He knew the time was getting close. The woman was weak and it would take all his strength to save her. Humans were so fragile. It amazed him how they had managed to cling to life for the millions of years that had lead up to the time he found himself in. Walking down the silent street he found the number he was looking for. Quietly he approached the building. He was worried that They would be watching for him. The Brotherhood had determined that it was necessary to wait until there was no other alternative before intervening. Their numbers were growing limited and, if human medicine could save the Mulder woman, they would not step in. But the word had come earlier that week. Science had failed. He was the only chance. Mulder was sitting staring at their wedding picture. He thought of how much he had wanted to give Scully the wedding she deserved. Once the danger was over and they could get on with their lives. But now it would never happen. His thoughts were interrupted by a soft tapping on the door. Mulder stood up and wandered to the door and opened it. Standing before was a man he was sure was dead. Or whatever death meant for the likes of Jeremiah Smith. "No," the man standing before him answered. "I am not him. You are correct, he did not survive. But there are others of us." Mulder ushered the man into the apartment. His heart dared not believe what this might mean. Using all his remaining strength, he allowed the man to talk. "Last year, you and your partner placed your lives on the line for one of the Brotherhood." The man looked at the photograph on the table. "We understand your partner has been afflicted with an illness that is taking her life away." "Yes," Mulder whispered. It was all he could manage to say. "It has been decided that we cannot let you suffer that loss. You are a friend to us and to the cause." The man glanced around the apartment. "I need to see your wife. I don't have much time. They watch us all and I am concerned they will follow me here." Mulder lead the man down the hallway to the darkened bedroom. He opened the door and gradually turned up the lights. Scully was laying against the white sheets. It was hard to tell where she ended and where the fabric began. The man walked to the bedside and Scully's eyes opened. She was both frightened and calmed. Her mind went back to the previous year. This man was familiar to her. She knew she had nothing to fear. Fox Mulder watched as the man he knew as Jeremiah Smith placed a hand on Scully's forehead. Her eyes looked across the bedroom and locked with his. In an instance, she stiffened and collapsed against the pillows. Mulder started to cross the bedroom. Jeremiah Smith raised his hand. Mulder stopped. Jeremiah Smith then moved his hand down to Scully's abdomen. He touched her stomach gently and smiled. A wedding present to this couple who had risked so much for the Brotherhood. Without a word, Jeremiah Smith walked past Mulder, out the front door and into the crowds of Washington DC. The next few hours passed like and eternity. Mulder's thoughts vacillated between certainty that Dana would be fine to worry that the man had really been the alien assassin and that she was now closer to death than ever. He lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms. Somewhere between then and morning, he had drifted into a peaceful sleep. Sunlight washed across Fox Mulder's face. He felt the woman next to him stir and pulled her back into the embrace she had slipped out of during the night. "Fox," she whispered. "Fox," her voice was more urgent. He opened his eyes and looked down at the body cradled in his arms. She was smiling. And something more. "I don't feel sick anymore, Fox." Dana was smiling. "In fact, I feel like the past seven months have just been a bad dream." "All of them?" Fox smiled. "Well, not all of them." She slipped her hands around her husband's waist and pulled him even closer to her. "Mrs. Mulder, are you doing what I think you're doing?" "You bet," Dana began to move her hands down Fox's back. She was moving on top of him and it was very clear what her plans were. Mulder stopped her. "Wait right there, young lady." He pulled away from her and stood up. "Just because something may have happened here last night, well, I don't want to take any chances." "Mulder," Dana was pouting. "Don't even think of arguing with me." Fox opened her dresser and tossed a pair of jeans at her. "Get up and get dressed." "Where are we going?" Dana did not want to go anywhere. She wanted to spend the day with her husband doing what they had not been able to do for months. "To the hospital, you goof." Mulder tossed a sweatshirt at her. "For a doctor, you sometimes amaze me. We are going to get Graydon to run that contraption around your head one more time. I know what happened here last night and so do you. But I want some proof. I want an 8 x 10 of that beautiful brain I fell in love with." Reluctantly Scully got dressed. Mulder ran two red lights and broke more speed laws than she could count getting to the hospital. Dr. Graydon was waiting for them outside the MRI lab. "What is going on with you two," the doctor said then suddenly stopped short. He looked at the woman he had seen less than a week before. The Dana Scully-Mulder who was standing in front of him bore virtually no resemblance to the woman he had examined the prior week. There was a colour in her face and a glow in her eyes he had never seen. "Don't ask us to explain, doctor," Mulder started. "But, something happened and we want you to do another MRI." "Okay," Dr. Graydon said knowing that arguing with these two would not do him any good. An hour later they were sitting in Graydon's office reviewing the MRI. "I just don't understand it, Dana," Graydon was comparing the results to the prior week's test. "This does not make sense. Not only are all the tumours gone, but all the damage from the surgeries appears to have been repaired. It is as if there was never anything wrong." Fox and Dana looked at the MRI results and then at each other. Their smiles lit up the room and surrounding area for about five miles. "If everything looks all right, doc, I'd like to go home with my husband," Dana stood up. "Okay," Graydon looked at the results one more time and shook his head. "But I want to see you in 2 months just to make sure . . ." "Whatever," Dana said as she stood up and grabbed Fox's hand. She needed to talk to her mother. To tell her she was not going to lose another daughter. That the miracle she had been praying for had happened. Whether it was divine intervention or something else, all Dana Katherine Scully-Mulder knew was that she was glad to be alive and she was not going to waste a minute of her second chance. Epilogue in Part Five ========Things are changing at NetForward! http://www.netforward.com/changes.shtml ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer/ Summary/Spoiler alert in Part 1 - Heh, if you've read this far, you know 'em! Category: No angst for anyone this time, MSR (heck they're married, so just adjust). Comment welcome at eroddv@planet.eon.net Sudden Gift of Fate - 5/5 You can celebrate, gifts are never late/ You just learn to wait for a sudden gifts of fate." Mary Chapin Carpenter February 1, 1998 Dana Scully-Mulder stood up and immediately sat back down on the side of the bed. For the past several weeks, she had not been well. She was dizzy and just looking at food made her feel like her stomach was going to collapse. The flu had been hanging around since Mulder brought it back from the Lone Gunmen's New Years Bash. It had lasted three days for Mulder. Scully, however, had been battling the fatigue, nausea and dizziness for a month. "Hey, sweetheart," Mulder's voice called out from the kitchen. "Are you up to eating?" He was making toast and tea - the only thing she had been able to keep down all week. Mulder's flu had run its course and he was feeling fine. Setting a cup of tea down on the nightstand, he joined Scully on the side of the bed. "I'm getting worried about, Dana. This flu should not be lasting so long. I mean I did catch it before you." "And gave it to me, if I remember correctly," Scully smiled watching Mulder wince. Ever since her battle with cancer, he overreacted is she so much as sneezed. "Yeah, I know. Rub it in." Mulder slipped his arm around his wife. "Now, will you *please* get ready to see Dr. Graydon and let him make sure it's just the flu." The thought that Scully's illness could be anything more serious terrified Mulder. He knew Scully had been given a clean bill of health. The day after Jeremiah Smith, or his "brother" had appeared at their apartment, two months later and four months later. Scully had been scheduled for another check up that week, but had been so sick from the flu that she found herself calling Dr. Graydon and cancelling her appointment. He had insisted on rescheduling for this morning. "I think I'll make it in today." Dana stood up and headed to the bathroom. "But, first I need to shower." Mulder paced around the apartment as Scully showered and changed. After washing the dishes from the night before, he put them away. He was just about to start cleaning out the fridge when he heard Scully come out of the bedroom. She was wearing a suit and had obviously taken great pains to make sure her hair and makeup were perfect. "Trying to make a good impression on the doctor?" Mulder planted a kiss on her forehead. "Well, I don't want him putting me in the hospital because I look dragged out from a simple case of the flu," Scully was feeling a bit better. A least the room had stopped spinning and the toast Mulder had left on the nightstand seemed to be staying her stomach. "Let's go before I change my mind." The tests and examination were becoming routine. Scully was just getting dressed when Dr. Graydon's nurse came in with another tray. "What's this?" Scully watched as Carol set the tray on the desk. "Some of the bloodwork looked a little funny." Carol said as she picked up a needle. "Dr. Graydon wanted to re-run a couple of the tests." Confused, but too tired to argue, Dana rolled up her sleeve. "Okay, Carol," she forced a smile, "but please leave me a little bit of that blood. I've been so tired lately, I need all of it I can keep." Carol drew two more tubes of blood and left. The door cracked open and Scully heard a familiar voice, "Is the coast clear?" Mulder slipped inside the examining room and wrapped his arms around his wife. She felt something in his jacket pocket. "What's that?" she said pointing at the bulge. "What's what?" Mulder looked like a child caught plotting a surprise. "This." Scully reached out. "Oh," his face breaking into a grin, "you mean this." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box wrapped in gold paper. "Mulder." Scully took the small package from him. "Is this what you've been so secretive about?" He just smiled. "Happy First Anniversary. Aren't you going to open it." The paper slipped off the small box and Dana lift the lid. As she did, Mulder watched with the rapt attention of a child on Christmas morning. "Do you like it?" he whispered. Dana's eyes filled with tears. Mulder had really done it this time. It was perfect. A delicate golden band encircled in diamonds. Mulder picked up her left hand and slipped the ring on next to the simple gold band she had worn for the past year. "It's an eternity ring. That's how long you'll have to put up with me." "At least," smiled Dana. She looked up into her husband's eyes. The grey was punctuated by intense green flecks. She reached up and kissed him. A kiss of love and gratitude and thankfulness. Their lives had taken such a wild ride since that day a year ago when they had promised to love each other forever. At this moment in time, everything and everyone ceased to exist for them. So much so that they did not hear the door to the examining room open. They did not hear Dr. Graydon step into the room. It was not until he closed the door, well almost slammed it, that they moved apart. "Oh, Dr. Graydon," Scully was blushing. "I hate to interrupt you two, but I'd like to talk to you in my office, if you have time." Dr. Graydon turned to go. "Oh, and happy anniversary, you two." The doctor grinned to himself. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully-Mulder sat pensively in Dr. Graydon's office. On his way to talk to them, he had been called down to the ER for a quick head injury consult. Scully had told Mulder that the nurse had said something about some extra blood tests. They were both worried and trying desperately to conceal that fact from the other. After what seemed like forever, Dr. Graydon returned from the ER. "Sorry to have kept you two waiting," he sat down and looked across the desk at the couple fidgeting in their chairs. "Dana, you know we ran a couple extra tests this round." Scully just nodded, bracing herself for the worst. A grin started to spread across Dr. Graydon's face. "Would you two relax," he said. "There's nothing wrong. Well, nothing that won't correct itself in about 6 1/2 months." Dana and Fox looked at the doctor. Then at each other. "What?" they said in unison. "Now, I can't tell the two of you how this happened - well other than the obvious -- I mean after all the radiation you went through, Dana, this should not have been possible." "What are you talking about?" Fox Mulder was starting to get impatient. "Fox," Dana said quietly. "I'm pregnant." She looked at Dr. Graydon. "Am I right." "Very good," the doctor handed her the lab results. "I guess I won't have to call your medical school to have your diploma revoked. From the hormone levels and the size of your uterus, I would guess about 3 months. Really, Dr. Scully, didn't you suspect?" "Dana?" Fox looked at his wife. How could he have missed this. Granted he didn't really know that much about women or their cycles, but she was his wife. "Well," Scully shrugged her shoulders, "I thought it was just a delayed reaction to the cancer and the treatment. As you pointed out, Dr. Graydon, I am a doctor and I know what radiation does to the reproductive system." "I think we can just chalk this up to the miracle that cured you. It obviously did not stop at the cancer." Dr. Graydon stood up and walked to the door of his office. "You two can take a few minutes to adjust to this little piece of news." He opened the door to leave. "Oh, and Dana, you better schedule an appointment with your gynaecologist and soon. I'm a neurologist and oncologist so I think you better get someone with a bit more experience to figure out when you two will be expecting your little gift." Fox lifted his wife up into his arms. It was almost too much. He had been so happy when she had been cured of the cancer that almost destroyed her body that he had accepted they would never have children. It was enough just to have Dana by his side. Tears were filling his eyes as he looked into the eyes of his wife. "Happy anniversary," she said. "It looks like I'll be giving you your gift a few months late." "I can wait." Was all he could say. I admit it - I'm a sucker for a happy ending. Maybe someday I'll evolve! Rhiannon