Title - Pas Savoir La Verite Author - Cheryl Levine E-Mail Address - dllevine@erols.com Rating - PG Category - Xfile/angst Spoilers - Just references to many different eps in the mythology; Memento Mori Keywords - Scully's cancer Summary - A possible cure is found to Scully's cancer. See how Scully, Mulder, Mrs. Scully, Skinner, Mrs. Mulder and Cigarette Smoking Man react to it. Pas Savoir la Verite by Cheryl Levine "Mulder...Mulder...wake up, Mulder." Dana Scully called to her partner Fox Mulder who was sound asleep in their basement office of the J. Edgar Hoover FBI building in the X-Files division. "Huh..oh, Scully...what time is it?" "It's about a quarter after ten, ten thirteen to be exact." "Scully, what's wrong? Come on, you can talk to me." Mulder, after working with her for nearly five years, could always tell when something was bothering his partner. She was his best, and only, friend and Mulder had learned to see beyond the strong front Scully put on. The two had been through so much together, especially during the last few months, that they needed each other, whether or not they would admit it. The relationship was way beyond romantic. They were soulmates, meant for each other who understood each other, almost better than they understood themselves. "Mulder, I've been trying to reach you for hours at home. I've called and called. I even tried your cell, but I think the batteries are dead, and you didn't answer the phone here." "Sorry, Scully, I was working late and must have fallen asleep." "I have to tell you something and it can't wait until tomorrow." Scully could barely get the words out. As much as she hated for Mulder to see her break down, she couldn't help it. Mulder silently walked over to the doorway where Scully was still standing and held her in his arms. He knew that whatever she needed to tell him, she would when she was ready, and that he just needed to be there for her, not as a partner, but as a friend. After a few minutes, Scully regained control over herself and just looked into Mulder's eyes. "Thank you," she said while wiping off her face. "I needed that." "Let me take you home, Scully. I'll stay with you and you'll feel more comfortable talking to me in your apartment." Scully just responded with a nod and a slight smile. When they arrived at her apartment, Scully sank down on the couch while Mulder got her some water. After he sat down next to her, Scully looked at him and began speaking. "Mulder, I went to the doctor after work today, for the cancer." Scully had recently been diagnosed with brain cancer, an inoperatable tumor in the nasal cavity. Mulder thought it was a direct result of a period of missing time--nearly three months-- that Scully had experienced several years ago. A look of concern crossed Mulder's face as he responded, "What did she say? What happened?" "Well...it sort of...I don't know how to say this to you...it..." "Scully, just tell me! What is it?" "Mulder, I can't explain how it happened, but the tumor just moved. I mean, I don't believe it, but it went from the nasal passage to the back of my neck, where the implant was. The good thing is that they can take it out, but they have to do it now! I'll go talk to Skinner first thing in the morning and will check into Georgetown in the early afternoon. The surgery will begin at three." "Scully...I-I really don't know what to say. I mean, I know that you have no choice in the matter, but...well...have you talked to you mother yet?" "Yes, I'm not going to upset her again like I did last time. I need her too much now. She's leaving early tomorrow morning." "Do you want me to come to talk to Skinner with you?" "No, no Mulder, I can handle that. There is something I'd like you to do for me, though..." "What, Scully, I'll do anything!" "I want you to sit at the hospital with my mother while the operation is being done on me. Charles and Bill can't come." "Of course they can't come!" "Mulder! Bill is out at sea somewhere in international waters and Charles is in Paris and can't just come back at a moment's notice. It's not like we had any warning on this." "I'm sorry, Scully. I'll stay with your mother. Can you tell Skinner while you are talking to him? I want to get some work done, so I'll come to the hospital as soon as I finish." "Thanks, Mulder." "Scully, go to sleep. I'll stay here tonight." "Where are you going to sleep?" "On the couch. That's where I sleep at my house on those few instances I actually can sleep. I'll just feel better knowing that you are not alone tonight." "Okay Mulder. I'll see you in the morning. Good night." "Goodnight Scully." In the morning, Scully got out of bed and woke up Mulder. After getting dressed in her work clothes, she went to the kitchen to start some coffee. "Scully, grab my overnight bags from the car, will ya." Mulder called as he tossed her his keys. Because the job often requires travel at almost no warning, both Mulder and Scully keep an overnight bag in the trunk of their cars, just in case. When she got back, Mulder went into her bedroom to get dressed while she made breakfast. Mulder drove with Scully to the FBI building. During the car ride, neither one spoke. After entering the building, Mulder hit the down button for the elevator to head down to the basement office and Scully hit the up button to go see Assistant Director Walter Skinner. "Good luck, Scully. I'll see you later." Mulder told her as he got on the elevator. "Good morning." Skinner's secretary cheerfully greeted Scully when she entered the outer office. "Good morning, I'm Special Agent Dana Scully. It is urgent that I speak to Assistant Director Skinner immediately." "Just a minute, please." She walked into the office and reappeared a moment later. "He's in the middle of something. Can this wait?" "No, I need to speak to him now." Scully went into the office and said to Skinner, "I'm sorry, Sir, but this really can't wait." "That's okay, Agent Scully. What can I do for you?" "I went to the doctor yesterday and the tumor has moved to a place where it can be removed. I'm scheduled for surgery this afternoon at Georgetown. I just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to work for a few days or even a couple of weeks, I don't know for sure yet." "Agent Scully, you can have off all of the time that you need. Just get better." "Thank you, Sir. I am also requesting for Agent Mulder that he have this afternoon off to be able to stay with me and my mother at the hospital." "That's not a problem, Agent Scully." "There is one other thing, Sir." "What is it?" "We requested, as FBI officers, to have part of the tumor sent to our forensics lab. It will have your name on it. Mulder and I would like to personally perform the forensics testing on it. Sir, can you please make sure that nothing is done with it until I return. I know they are going to try to take it." "I'll take care of that, Agent Scully. It's not a problem. Let me know how everything goes for you." "I will. Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate this." On her way out of Skinner's office, Scully ran into a mysterious man known to her and Mulder as only the Cigarette Smoking Man. The man entered the office. "You did it! How did you do it? Why?" Skinner demanded of the man who was casually lighting up a Morley cigarette. "We had a deal. You did enough of your part to enable me to do this for Scully." "But, why now? I haven't completely fulfilled my end." "If I waited any longer, she wouldn't have made it." "What do you want from me?" "I just came to tell you that Agent Scully is more valuable than you think. And that I know it." "Are they going to try to shut down the X-Files again? To take her? Kill her? What?" "I don't know, but what I do know is that if you separate Scully from Mulder, more harm will come, to all of us, if he can ever prove anything. She keeps him down to earth, in a matter of speaking." "Are you saying that Mulder is going to find what he is looking for?" "All I'm saying," he said as he put out the cigarette and reached for another, "is that no one knows what information is in that tumor." He lit up the cigarette as he crossed the room and walked out the door leaving a stunned Walter Skinner at his desk. Skinner reached over and hit Mulder's number on the speed dial. "Mulder," he said as he grabbed the phone on the second ring. "Agent Mulder, it's Assistant director Skinner. I don't know if you've spoken to Agent Scully this morning..." "Not since she spoke to you, Sir." "Of course it is no problem for you to have the afternoon off. In fact take tomorrow off to stay with her, too." "Thank you, Sir. That's very understanding of you." "That's not why I'm calling, though. I just want to warn you to keep an eye on Agent Scully, to make sure she's not in any danger. Take care of her, Agent Mulder. I know how much she means to you, to your division and even to me." "I'll do that Sir. Agent Scully just walked in, so I'll talk to you later." "Goodbye Agent Mulder." "Goodbye." "Hey, Scully!" Mulder called to her. "I thought you were going home." "I am. I just want to let you know that Skinner said you could have the afternoon off." "I know. I just got off the phone with him." "Really, what did he have to say?" "Nothing. Nothing Scully." Mulder assured her, even though what he mentally added was "Nothing I can tell you." "Scully, I'll try to come early." "Okay, Mulder. Thanks. I better get home." "Bye Scully." "Mulder couldn't stop blaming himself for her cancer, despite her efforts to try to convince him otherwise. Mulder turned back to his work, the only thing that kept him going in his quest for the truth. His search for the truth, in his opinion, was the only thing that could save Scully." Back at her apartment, Scully found her mother waiting for her. Quickly, she opened the door to let them in. "Dana, where have you been? I've been waiting for you!" "Sorry Mom. I had to take care of something at work." "Dana, I'm scared." "Mom, it'll be okay. This is a good thing." "I know, but still..." "Mulder is going to come to stay with you at the hospital. I though that would make you feel better...not being alone." "Yes, that will be nice, I've always liked him. He really has been there for you, no matter what Bill says." "I know, Mom, he's really the greatest. I've got to pack. Why don't you sit down and try to relax." "Okay, Dana...go take a nap, you look exhausted." "Sounds like a good idea." Scully went into her bedroom and shut the door. She put sweats on and sat on her bed. She reached over to her night table and grabbed her diary. As she was writing, the tears flowed down her face, one by one. "Why do I feel so scared? I'm supposed to be the strong one, who everyone comes to rely on. I feel so helpless, so lost. Although I have always relied on science, I can find no explanation to how the tumor moved or even how I got it. If it is a result of the missing time, I still cannot understand why I was taken. Was it because I am Mulder's partner? Because we came too close on our pursuit of the truth? Throughout everything I have seen and experienced, why can't I believe? I know I need to be strong, for Mom, for Mulder, for the truth, but how can I be, with such a fear inside driving deeper into my soul?" The tears flowed faster on Scully's face as she packed for the hospital...her diary...a book...a change of clothes...her toothbrush...her hairbrush. Item by item, she filled her overnight bag and put it by the door. She fell onto her bed, turned on the radio and eventually fell asleep. Back at FBI headquarters, Mulder was finishing his report on their latest alien abduction/UFO case out in West Virginia. He glanced over at Scully's neatly finished report waiting to be turned in with his before printing out a final copy and preparing it to give to Skinner. Mulder walked over to his file cabinet to file the case notes when a folder caught his eye "Dana Scully". Mulder let out a deep breath and decided to call it quits for the day. She needed him. Mulder took the two reports and left the office, locking the door behind him. Before heading home, Mulder stopped by Skinner's office. "Hello Agent Mulder," the secretary said. Mulder had been up there so many times, pushing his way into Skinner's office uninvited that he was well known up there. "Hello. Can you give these to Assistant Director Skinner and let him know that I'm leaving for the day?" "Sure thing. Do you need to see him?" "No, not now. Just tell him I stopped by please." "Okay Agent Mulder." "Thanks." Mulder went down to his car and drove to his apartment. He slipped out of his suit and into jeans and a Redskin sweatshirt. Mulder, like most men, loved watching football, and after being in Washington for nearly a decade was a Skins fan. He reached for the phone. "Hello," said a voice on the other end. "Mom." Mulder said. "Fox! Why are you calling?" Mrs. Mulder inquired. "Mom, Scully is going to the hospital today. They're operating on her cancer. I'm scared, Mom. I'm scared I might lose her. Like I lost Samantha." "Fox, no one blames you for that. You were just a child when Samantha was taken and there was nothing that you or anyone else could have done to stop them. You did everything possible. And before she was gone, you were the best big brother any girl could have." "Thanks Mom. Scully means so much to me. She's always been there for me. I don't want to lose her...I need her. She's my strength." "I know. I can see how much you admire her, Fox. I know you'll be there for her and everything will turn out fine." "Mom...do you know what it is...who gave it to her...why?" "Fox, I wish I could tell you." "So do, tell me, please Mom." "Fox, I can't. I'm sorry. Goodbye." "Mom, wait, don't hang-up the phone..." Mulder called, but it was too late. It hurt him, the secretive attitude of his mother and the thought of losing Scully. They were all he had left, his sister had been taking when they were just children and his father had been killed a couple years back. "Dana...Dana, sweetie...wake up." Scully heard her mother's soft voice call to her. "Okay, okay. I'm up." She answered her mother as she sat up in bed. "Dana..." "What Mom?" "I'm really scared." "Mom, I'm scared, too, but everything is going to be just fine." "I know, Dana, it's just..." "It's okay Mom." Scully knew what her mother was referring to: her father's death three years ago, her sister Melissa's murder two years back, her brother Charles moving to Paris, and brother Bill always out at sea. Her mother couldn't deal withe cancer or the thought of losing another loved one. "Let's go, Mom." At the hospital, Scully checked in as her mother fought back the tears. "Mrs. Scully." A young nurse walked over to her. "Yes." "I'm going to take Dana back now to start her prep. You can come back in a half hour, room 123. You can bring one other person back if you need to, but that's it." "Okay, room 123. Dana..." "Yes, Mom?" "I love you." "I love you, too, Mom." The nurse led Scully to the back while Mrs. Scully stood watching, no longer fighting her emotions. "Mrs. Scully." She heard a voice call from behind. Slowly, she turned around. "Fo...Mulder. I'm glad you could make it." "Let's go over there and sit down. You look like you need a rest." Mrs. Scully allowed Mulder to lead her over to the waiting area. They had the same expressions on their face, tear streaked cheeks and fear for Scully, but also a great admiration for her in their eyes. For the next twenty-five minutes, the two sat in silence, not knowing what they could say to comfort each other, and themselves. "Let's go see her. They said a half hour," Mrs. Scully requested. "Good idea." Mulder stood up and reached his hand over to help Margaret Scully. The two walked, hand in hand, past the desk and into the back hallway of the hospital. They reached Room 123 and Mulder opened the door. "Do you want to see her alone, first, Mulder?" "Do you mind?" "No, you go ahead and I'll be in five minutes or so. Do you want a cup of coffee or something?" "Sure, that would be great." Mrs. Scully backtracked their steps and entered the cafeteria to get the coffee while Mulder was talking to Scully. "Dana. How are you?" "Mulder, you haven't called me Dana since, well, since I don't know when. I'm doing fine, I guess." "Scully, I'll be here tonight and tomorrow for you." "I know. Mulder?" "Yes?" "Don't be scared, it'll be okay. Please be strong for me, for my mother." "I will, Scully, I will...You need to get better, so we can get to the bottom of this and fight the demons from your abduction." "Missing time." "Whatever. I'm just glad that everything is looking better. It's been hard on me." "I know Mulder. Thank you for being here for me, through everything." "Scully, I just realized who you remind me of." "Who's that?" "Samantha." "Samantha? Your sister Samantha?" "Yes, Scully. You are like a little sister to me. And I wasn't there to protect you when you needed me to, but it doesn't matter to you. You gave me another chance, just like a little sister would." "Mulder, I know that you did everything you could, and you've saved my life more times than you've let me down. Don't pressure yourself like that. I'm capable of taking care of myself." Mrs. Scully walked into the room and handed Mulder a steaming hot cup of coffee and put the other one on the night table next to her daughter's bed. She sat on the bed, holding Scully's hand. "Mom, it's okay, I'm fine." "I know, Dana, but it is my job as your mother to worry about you." "Mom, I was always the one you never had to worry about. So, why worry now? It'll be just fine. I promise." "You know, she's right Mrs. Scully." "Yeah, I know." "Mom, Mulder will be there for you, but he needs you to be there for him, too. Can you do that, for me?" "Yes, dear. We'll take care of each other." Soon, the nurse came into the room. "Dana, I'm going to give you a shot of anesthesia. It's going to make you very tired, but don't try to fight it off." "Excuse me, but you don't need to talk down to me like that. I'm a medical doctor." "I'm sorry. It's just that most people don't understand anything I'm saying, so I always explain everything thoroughly to everyone." "Don't worry about it. I know what's going on here. I've know from the start. Mom, Mulder, you guys better leave now. I'll be fine and I'll see you when I come out...cancer free." Scully forced a smile on her face as her mother and partner left the room. The nurse gave her the shot and she fell asleep. After being wheeled into the OR, the doctor carefully cut Scully's neck and removed the cancerous mass, separating it into three pieces. One piece was marked "Hospital study". Another "FBI forensics, att. Walter Skinner, Assistant Director" and the third was left unmarked. In the waiting room, Mulder was pacing back and forth anxiously. Anytime a nurse came out from the back room, he looked like a puppy waiting for his owners to let him in the house. When the nurse went to talk to someone else, his face dropped again and he resumed his pacing. Mrs. Scully sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room with a picture of her whole family, all six of them, taken when Dana was just 16. Everything was so much easier back then. She sat quietly, allowing the tears to flow and the memories to come back to her. The memories of her husband, William, and how much he admired their children. He had always wanted Dana to use her medical degree, but was just glad that she was happy and that she was able to make something out of herself. She thought of Melissa, Dana's big sister, who was killed as an attempt on Dana's life. She was coming to see her sister, but got killed. Mrs. Scully missed them, more than anything. She was proud that her oldest son, Bill, followed in his father's footsteps and join the Navy, but that meant that he could never be home, with her. Then Charles picking up and moving to Paris last month with no warning. Just "Bye, Mom, I'm leaving for France tomorrow." Then her daughter, now her only daughter, the one who always stuck by her, was dying, and was in there, on the operating table as the last attempt to save her life. It was hard on both of them, but neither could find the right thing to say to comfort one another. "Mulder?" "Yes, Mrs. Scully?" "Would you stop that pacing. Come sit down." "I can't. Let's go get something to eat." "No, I don't feel like eating right now." "It's after six, you haven't eaten in hours. Let's go." Mulder took her hand and helped her up. Together, they walked to the desk and told them where they would be. Mulder led her into the cafeteria and found a seat for her. He told her he would be right back and then went to get food. Coming back with a full tray of chicken, potatoes and vegetables, Mulder was practically frantic. He put the tray down and went to get drinks. After returning to the table, Mulder calmed himself down, for Scully, for her mother. "Thanks, Mulder. It looks decent enough, for hospital food." "Yeah, you need to eat. Come on." "You do, too. Stop picking at it." "Okay, okay." As they ate, they talked about Dana and the wonderful memories they had shared. Mulder told Mrs. Scully about how Dana had saved his life, literally and mentally and Mrs. Scully shared stories of Dana's childhood. A nurse walked into the room. "I'm looking for a Margaret Scully or a Fox Mulder." "Mulder stood up. I'm Fox Mulder. How's Scully doing?" "She's out of surgery. Everything went just fine. She'll be ready for company in the recovery room in an hour." "That's a relief. Will she be awake then?" "Shortly after. We usually use enough anesthesia for an hour and a half longer than the surgery is planned for." "Thank you. We'll be there. What room?" "It's room 1121, upstairs. She'll be in a private room then, so she won't have to move until she is ready to go home in three days or so." "Thank you. I appreciate that." "Mulder, what is it?" Mrs. Scully asked when Mulder came back to the table. "She's out of surgery. We can see her in an hour. Everything went as planned. Now, eat your dinner." Up in Scully's room, Mulder and Mrs. Scully sat on opposite sides of the bed waiting for Scully to wake up. Her eyes began to open after what seemed like ages. "Mom...Mulder..." "Dana, sweetie, we're here. Everything went fine." "That's good to hear. Did you have much trouble with him, Mom?" "No, he was fine, really worried, but fine." "I don't feel anything. Should I?" "Scully, they gave you really strong drugs. When they wear off, you'll feel it." "I guess so. I'm really tired." "Do you want me to stay with you tonight, Dana?" "No, Mom, I'll be fine. Why don't you go back to my apartment to sleep. I'll see you in the morning." "Are you sure you don't want company, Scully?" "Mulder, I'm fine. I just want some time to be alone. Really." "Okay, I'll make sure your mom gets in okay. And we'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning." "Don't you have to work?" "No, Skinner said for me to stay with you." "Okay. Goodnight Mulder. Goodnight, Mom." "Night Scully. Feel better." "Goodnight, Sweetie, don't worry about me." The next morning, Mulder drove to Scully's apartment to get Mrs. Scully. He walked up to her door and knocked. Mrs. Scully let him in. "How are you doing today?" Mulder asked. "Better...I spoke to Dana this morning." "Is she feeling alright?" "Yeah, she said she's felt better, but can't complain." "I'm glad to hear that. I don't know about you, but I'm anxious to get to see her again. I need to make a phone call, so why don't you drive. You can take my car if you want." "Okay, I'll do that." They got into the car and Mulder dialed Skinner's number into his cell phone. "Walter Skinner's office." "This is Fox Mulder. Can you put me through please. It's very important." "Agent Mulder. This is Assistant Director Skinner." Mulder heard the authoritative voice on the other end. "What can I do for you?" "Sir, I just wanted to check in with you. I'm in the car on my way to see Scully. Her mother said that she is feeling better." "That's good." "Sir, I thought I saw him in the hospital." "Saw who, Agent Mulder?" "The cancerman. And there were suspicious people hanging around on Scully's floor." "Well, Agent Mulder, what do you want me to do about it?" "I was just wondering if you knew anything about it." "I'm sorry Agent Mulder. There is nothing I can do." "Well, we just reached the hospital, so I'll call you back after I see what's going on here." Back in Skinner's office, after he hung up the phone, a voice from behind a cloud of smoke called out, "What did Agent Mulder want?" "He knows. Or at least I think he does. He said he saw you at the hospital yesterday and that there were people hanging around Scully's room." "He can't do anything. I'm not worried." "Here is the package that you requested. Does this fulfill my end of the bargain?" Skinner reached into his desk and pulled out the unmarked package. "That depends." "On what?" "What I can find, how I feel, what I might need you to do." "That's not fair. Are we finished or not?" "Life's not fair, Mr. Skinner." The man walked out of the room stubbing out his cigarette along the way. Scully was sitting in bed eating breakfast when she heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" "Dana, it's me and Mulder." "Come on in." "Hi Sweetie, how are you feeling?" "I'm fine. Really." "Are you sure, Dana." "Yes, Mom...Mom?" "Yes dear?" "Why don't you go get some coffee or something for you and Mulder. Okay?" "Sure, sweetie. I'll be right back." After she left, Scully said to Mulder, "I have to tell you something." "What's that?" "Well, there have been these three men coming in and out all night. I don't think they work here, either. They keep taking blood and doing tests and stuff on me." "I had a suspicion. That does it, either your mother or I will stay with you at all times. Besides, they are only keeping you until tomorrow evening." "Isn't that obnoxious? I mean, I just had major surgery and they only keep me here for about thirty-six hours. It's crazy." "Someone will stay with you. Plus, knowing you, you'll want to come back to work right away." "That's true. I'm ready now." "Not yet, Scully. Anyway, I'm not letting you do field work for a month or two." "Why not? I can handle it!" "I know you can, but I don't want you to be too stressed. When you come back, we'll work with the tumor and we have several old cases to finish up. I can bring interviews into the office and anything that needs to be done, I'll do." "But I can't allow you to be out in the field alone." "Why not? I'm a big boy. Besides, I've been doing this twice as long as you." "I know. We'll talk about it when I get back to work." "There are no negotiations on this one, Scully." "Negotiations on what?" "Oh, Mom, you scared me! I didn't know you got back." "Mrs. Scully, your daughter wants to come back and work, which is fine, but she's convinced I'm going to allow her to work in the field, which I'm not and she won't have a choice in the matter." "Dana, listen to your partner. He knows what he's talking about on this one." "Fine, but I'm not happy about it." "Scully, I'll find you plenty to do without leaving the office. I'm sure that we'll find plenty of autopsies for you to do, too. The dead can't be that hard to work with." "Shut up, Mulder." "Dana..." "Don't worry about it, Mrs. Scully. She's entitled. She does a pretty good job putting up with me. I wouldn't want to be stuck with a partner like myself." "Are you sure, Mulder?" "Yes, I'm sure. I want to look over some notes on one of our cases and I think Scully needs to get some rest. Did you bring a book?" "Yes, Mulder, I brought a book. But I would like to have some time with Dana first, so why don't you go out and wait in the waiting room." "Okay. Don't leave her. Call a nurse to get me if you need to leave. And whatever you do, don't let anyone except for a real nurse into the room." "Mulder, why are you so paranoid?" Mrs. Scully was not used to Mulder's ideas and suspicions and it struck her as odd that he was that overprotective of her Dana. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me." "What is this, your little games with aliens or something?" "Not exactly. More on the lines of government conspiracies." "Okay, Mulder. Whatever!" Mulder left the room taking his briefcase with him and collapsed into the waiting room chair. He took out his folder. "Dana Scully." He wanted to know what caused her cancer, how she got it, why. There must be some clues in here, he was sure of it. He read it over and over, backwards, from the middle, but nothing. It has to be there, he knew it. But what was he looking for? Whatever it was that the tumor contained, it held the truth, but there was nothing he could do about it until Scully could get back to work. Mulder just didn't have the medical expertise to test it. Mulder had been up all night worrying about Scully, so he couldn't really think clearly at that point. He closed his eyes and tried to relax his tense muscles. He had been through so much in the past few days and now all he wanted was to get Scully home, where he could protect her better. The next afternoon, Mulder was in Scully's hospital room helping her to get ready to go home. "Scully, I just can't figure out what the connection is. I know it is right there, but I can't find it. I think that Cancerman is involved." "Mulder, why do you always think everything is a big government conspiracy?" "Because it is." "We'll see." "Scully, are you all packed and ready to go home?" "Yeah, can we stop at the office before you take me home?" "No, way. You still need to rest." "Please? I need to work." "I know you do, but you need to rest more. And I'll make you." "How come my mother couldn't come today?" "It was just too much for her. She's waiting at your apartment for you. She won't let you come to work either." The doctor came in for one last check and then the nurses took Scully downstairs in a wheelchair. "I can walk just fine!" "Scully, we all know you can, but you just have to let them do their job. If you're a good girl, maybe I'll let you come back to work in the morning." Scully just glared at him without saying a word. Mulder opened the car door and helped Scully in. He tossed her bag into the back seat and got in the driver's seat. "My, aren't we touchy today, Scully?" "Mulder, you just don't understand." "I don't?" "No, you don't realize how hard it is for me to be so dependent on all of you. I need to work, to do my own thing." "Scully, would you just chill out and rest." Mulder flipped on the radio and drove to Scully's apartment as she dozed off in the passenger's seat. By the time they arrived, she was sound asleep and he couldn't wake her. He went to the front desk and had them buzz Mrs. Scully. She came down a few minutes later and took her daughter's bag while Mulder carried Scully into the building. Mrs. Scully opened the door and Mulder gently put Scully on her bed. "I have to get back to work. Can you have Scully call me when she wakes up?" "Sure, Mulder. You take care of yourself and let me worry about Dana." "Okay, but please don't let anyone except for me come into this apartment. And make sure it is me and not just someone who looks like me." "How will I know?" "I'll tell you her middle name. She hasn't told that to anyone else that I know of." "Okay, are you going to stop by after work?" "I'm going to try." "Okay, I'll see you later." "Bye Mrs. Scully. Take care of Dana." Mulder left Scully's apartment and got in his car to drive to the office. The wave of relief that passed over him felt so great after the pressure and stresses of the last few days and the last few months. Mulder arrived at the J. Edgar Hoover building and parked in the staff lot. As a result of being out of the office for a few days, finishing a bunch of old cases and not starting any new ones, Mulder began reading through some old cases to try to solve them. He was the only one who ever did that. Everyone else wanted new cases, things that were in need of immediate attention. There were various abduction cases, mostly woman and children, he noticed. One of his favorite abductees was named Max Fenig. Although Mulder was in the room during one of these abductions, by the time Max caught up with Mulder after his return, he was in a plane crash and died. That's just another case that Mulder would never know the truth on. Not with Scully, he had to protect her and the only way to do so was to find what secrets the tumor contained. Mulder finished reading through the stack of papers. He looked at the clock which read 6:03. Mulder straightened up his desk for the first time in ages and left the office. He headed to Scully's apartment picking up subs on the way for dinner. At her apartment, Scully was still exhausted from the surgery. After talking to her mother for a few minutes, she could barely keep her eyes open. She went into her bedroom and promptly fell asleep on her bed. In the living room, Mrs. Scully was reading a book when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" "I need to see Dana." "Who is it?" "Let me in, I need to see her now." Mrs. Scully, remembering Mulder's warning, said, "She's sleeping. Call next time before you come," while fastening the chain on the door. She went into the kitchen and called Mulder's cell phone number which Scully left on the table for her. "Mulder." "Mulder, it's Margaret Scully." "What can I do for you?" "There is someone here. He won't give me a name, he just said he needs to see Dana now." "Whatever you do, don't let him in. Is the door locked?" "Yes, double locked, with the chain on." "And what about Scully?" "She's been in her bedroom sleeping for the past three hours." "Okay, sit tight, I'm on my way over as we speak. Don't hang up the phone." "I won't. What do they want from her?" "I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't." "How can we find out?" "Scully and I will have to see what the tumor contains and that could help." "But why her?" "Because of me, because she's my partner, because we're too close to the truth, I don't know." "I want to know, Fox, I need to know." "I know. I do too." Mulder cringed at the sound of his first name but decided against saying anything. "I'm parking the car outside Scully's building right now." "Okay, do you want me to unlock the door?" "Not yet. Do you think they are still there?" "I don't know. I can check." "No, don't do that." "Mom, who are you talking to?" "Just a minute...Dana, I didn't know you were up. I was just talking to Mulder. He's on his way up right now." "Okay, Mrs. Scully, I'm at the door, you can let me in." "How do I know it is you?" "The password is Dana's middle name, Katherine." "Okay, I'm going to hang up the phone now to let you in." "Okay." Mrs. Scully opened the door and let Mulder in. "I brought dinner." "You didn't have to do that, Mulder. I could have made something here." "Scully, have food in her house? Yeah, right." "Mulder, I've got food. I haven't been home in three days so of course I don't now, but I do...sometimes." "Whatever you say." Scully, Mulder and Mrs. Scully sat down at the kitchen table and ate the subs. During the meal, Mulder asked, "Scully, are you planning on coming to work tomorrow? It's just not the same without you." "If you'll let me. I'm ready to get out of here." "Dear, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go yet. I mean, you couldn't even keep your eyes open today." "Mom, I'll be fine. If I get too tired, Mulder can always bring me home." "I just don't think you should go back so soon." "Don't you want to know what the secrets of the tumor are?" "Of course, we all do." "Well, Mulder doesn't have the skills to do it, I have to. I'll just go in the morning." "Dana, is there anything I can say to make you stay home?" "No, Mom, I need to work." "Then I guess that's that." "I'll take care of her, Mrs. Scully. Why don't you drop her off at my apartment on your way home in the morning." "Okay, that's good. She shouldn't drive yet." "Mom, I'm fine. Stop treating me like such a little kid." "Dana..." Mrs. Scully couldn't find the words to express her emotions. "Mom, I'm fine." "I know. And you've got a great partner to take care of you." Scully smiled. "I know, Mom." After dinner, Mulder went over the procedures planned for the next day with Scully while Mrs. Scully was in the bedroom reading. "She just doesn't understand me, Mulder." "No mother does. I talked to my mother the other day." "Really? What did she have to say?" "She said that she wished she could tell me. I think she knows something. I can't understand why she can't tell me, her own son." "What did you say to her?" "Nothing...she hung up on me." "That's tough. I guess they just don't understand us like we do..." "Each other. I know, I've thought about that. I just know what you are feeling. I know what you can do and what you need help with and I know that you know the same about me." "Yeah, that's true. We better get back to work on this. I'm getting tired." "Okay, Scully." They finished going over the cases and Mulder left as Scully went to bed. Back at his apartment, Mulder put on a video and settled down. He knew it would be a long night. It always is when he's had an emotional day because it always brings on a case of insomnia. He tried to relax and watch the movie, but his thoughts kept wandering on Samantha, on Scully, on the cancer, on the tumor, on his mother's strange reaction the other day. He just didn't understand how all of the pieces fit together and he thought he never would. The next thing Mulder knew was that there was a knock on the door. He opened his eyes to blinding sunshine. What another wonderful Washington morning, he thought as he went to answer the door. "Who is it?" "Mulder, it's me." "Scully," he said as he opened the door. "I didn't expect you this early." "Early? It's after nine!" "It is?" "Did I wake you?" "Yeah, just give me a few minutes to get dressed." Ten minutes later, the partners were in the car heading to Quantico where the FBI forensics lab is. "Scully, how are you?" "Mulder, I'm fine." "No, really, how are you?" "I'm really fine. I've felt better, but I think work will help me out." "You tell me the second you get tired or feel the slightest bit of pain. Don't deny it. Please, for your sake, Scully." "Okay, Mulder, I'll let you know." "You better." "Mulder!" As they entered the building, Scully led the way to the forensics lab. She had been on this path numerous times before. She was a professor here. When people asked her about her early career in the FBI, she had to tell them that she taught the students how to cut bodies open. Because of her medical expertise, Scully was often called in to perform autopsies and other forensics studies. Scully went up to the front desk. "Hello Agent Scully! I haven't seen you in ages." The secretary was one of Scully's close friends from the days of her training and teaching. "I got a transfer and have been at headquarters downtown for about four years now." "Do you like it?" "Oh, I love it! I love being out on the field and Agent Mulder is really great to work with." "Spooky Mulder?" "That's him, but he's not that bad when you work with him. He's my best friend." "So, what brings you down to this neck of the woods?" "I need to perform some tests on a speciman. There should be a package here from Georgetown with attention to AD Walter Skinner." "Okay, I'll go check." A few minutes later, she came back and said, "This says that we have to call to confirm that you can have it. It is highly classified and to be extra protected. Let me call Skinner." "Do you want to know what it is? It's a part of a cancerous tumor from me. It's mine, so go ahead and call. I called yesterday to reserve a room. Which one did you save for me?" "Let's see...Dana Scully, room 8789. You had cancer? I didn't know. Is everything okay now? Do you want me to bring this to you after I call Skinner?" "Yes, that would be great if you could bring it to me. I don't know, I had it taken out less than a week ago, so it's impossible to tell." "Less than a week and you're back on the job?" "You should know that's the way I am." "Okay, why don't you go start the prep." "Thanks." "Mulder, this way. Room 8789 is all the way down on the end of the West wing. Let's go." "Okay, Scully, slow down. I'm right behind you." They entered the room and Mulder took off his suit jacket. Scully took out two pairs of surgical gloves and handed one to Mulder and began the prep for the room while Mulder hung back in a corner trying not to get in the way. After the arrival of the tumor, Scully took it out of the package. "That came from you?" Mulder, who had never seen a tumor before was shocked at the size and density of it. "Yes, Mulder. And to think, this is only half of it. What did you think a tumor looked like?" "I don't know. Not that." Scully took the tumor and began running the tests on it. Strangely enough, nothing was abnormal. That is, until she accidently spilled some plain tap water on it from the glass she was drinking out of. The tumor began to smoke, then it began to rapidly disintegrate. Scully desperately tried to save a piece for some final tests, but her efforts were useless. She ran out of the room, tearing off her gloves and dropping them in the medical waste container on her way out the door. Mulder followed her but by the time he had caught up to her, she had already disappeared into the women's room. Inside, he could hear her sobs. He knew that she didn't want him to see her like that, so he returned to the room and began cleaning up. There was nothing left of the tumor, another piece of evidence he would never have, another thing he would never be able to prove. There was something there, but now all was lost. They couldn't do anything about it. Scully came back into the room with puffy eyes and a bright red face. "I want to go home now, Mulder." "Okay, Scully. Let's go." They drove home in silence, knowing that whatever they could have found they wouldn't. The evils had prevailed and they had lost, again. Mulder and Scully both knew that something was there and that it was now never to be found. At least by them. The truths that the team look for are out there, and despite their efforts to find them, they never have enough to expose the conspiracies and terrors of the world. However, neither would give up, ever. comments to dllevine@erols.com Okay, we have to do this: all of the background, history and characters are not mine, they are Chris Carter's, Fox's and 1013's. You know the drill. However, all actions and stories are my own. ThanX to CC for creating such a great show that leaves so much room for expanding it through fanfic. That done, here's the stories.